Hamlet for the Shakespeare-Impaired

Act 4, Scene 2

Elsinore. A passage in the Castle. Enter Hamlet.

Hamlet: Well, I hid the body.
Distant Voices:  Hamlet! Lord Hamlet!
Hamlet: Huh? Who's calling my name? Oh, here they come.
[Enter Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.]
Rosencrantz: What have you done with the dead body?
Hamlet: I reunited it with the dust.
Rosencrantz: Tell us where it is. The King wants us to bring it to the chapel.
Hamlet: Don't believe it.
Rosencrantz: Believe what?
Hamlet: I'll keep your secret, but not mine. You sponge, do you realize you're making demands of a Prince?
Rosencrantz: Did you just call me a sponge?
Hamlet: I sure did. A sponge that soaks up the King's good favor. He'll use you, squeeze you like a sponge until you're dry.
Rosencrantz: I don't understand you, sir.
Hamlet: Good. I'm glad. I didn't really want you to, you dummy.
Rosencrantz: Sir, you have to tell us where the body is and then come with us to see the King.
Hamlet: The body is with the King, but the King is not with the body. The King is a thing--
Guildenstern: A thing, my lord?
Hamlet: Of nothing. He's a lousy ruler. But I'll go with you to see him.