TaleSpin Top Tens by Miscellaneous Fans
Top Ten Things Molly Would Never Say
(By Joe)
10. "Mom, you don't have to get me anything special..."
9. "I don't want to be whiny or anything..."
8. "Why can't you guys get your attention OFF me??"
7. "Brussel sprouts! Hooray!"
6. "I need some soap here! Hello!"
5. "I wish the air pirates had just blown *up* the Sea Duck...now that would have
been pretty!"
4. "Excuse me :)"
3. "DYNOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!"
2. (singing) "I saw Mommy kissing Don Karnage..."
1. "I think Kit is dreeeeeamy!"
The Top Ten Things People would never say to Molly in a TS episode
(By Sel)
10. Rebecca: Of course you can go with Baloo. Don't forget to use the bathroom before you
leave, sweetie.
9. Kit: Hey Molly, want a piggy-back ride? I'll bump into the chairs all you want!
8. Wildcat: Molly, go away, you're bugging me. And stop telling me stories about the Snow
Duck! IT ISN'T REAL!
7. Becky: That does it. I'm calling your REAL parents to come and take you away.
6. Anyone: Anything to disillude Molly of the whole Danger Woman thing
5. Baloo: Hey pigtails, I'm not hungry, wanna finish this sundae for me?
4. Becky: That's the last straw, young lady. If home is where the heart is, consider
yourself homeless.
3. Don Karnage: Well hellooooo! How would you be liking to join my illustrated band of
pirates, hmm?
2. Kit: That colander's going to give you brain damage.
1. Anyone: GROW UP!
Top Ten Pearls of Wisdom from Don Karnage
(By Ted)
10. Do unto others before they do unto you.
9. The best results come from the worst intentions.
8. A penny plundered is a penny earned.
7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can make someone else do for you today
6. Remember the world is a better place because I am in it.
5. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% plagiarism.
4. Speak loudly and carry a big sword. And that gun that makes the big Ka-blooey!
3. No act of cruelty, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
2. A friend in need is a sucker for blackmail.
1. Win if you can, lose if you must... but always, always, cheat.
Top Ten Changes if TaleSpin was in the 90's
(By She-Wolf)
10. Rebecca: *looks at Baloo in dress* Baloo, is there something
you're not telling me?
9. Shere Khan would own the world's tallest building, complete with castle and a group of
living gargoyles
8. "Louie's" Would be a franchise
7. Danger woman would be a hot cartoon series
6. Colonial Grogg would be teamed up with a woman named Scully in an attempt to find the
truth
5. WildCat would be a hippy from the 60's
4. Most Thembrians would be clones
3. Kit wouldn't be cute, he'd be a street punk
2. The Cape Suzette canonns - replaced with heat seeking lasers
1. Don Karnage wouldn't be captain of the air pirates, he'd be the head of an
international terrorist ring
Top Ten Changes if TaleSpin went Anime
(By She-Wolf)
10. Danger Woman-in a sailor suit
9. Louie's would be a sushi bar
8. Rebecca's hair would be blue, pink or neon
7. Don Karnage's cutlass would have magical powers
6. Baloo Thunder
5. Kit'd be lovesick every five minutes
4. Don Karnage's pirates would be a lot more high tech
3. WildCat would constantly be working on new inventions (oh, wait, he already is)
2. Shere Khan would have an army of robots at his command
1. Sailor Molly!
Top Ten Iron Vulture Disguises That Didn't Work
(By She-Wolf)
10.Sea monster
9. Iceberg
8. Thanksgiving day parade float
7. Eighteenth century gallon
6. Flying saucer- Sargent Grogg: " I told you they were out there!"
5. Reeeeeaaallly big whale
4. A REAL vulture
3. Moving Island
2. Shipping liner
1. Election campaign podium
Top Ten Most Idiotic Things To Do in the TS Universe
(By She-Wolf)
10. Demand $100,000 from Shere Khan
9. Tell Kit he may never go cloudsurfing again
8. Attempt to cancel "Danger Woman"
7. Set Baloo up for a date...with Broadcast Sally
6. Set Don Karnage up for a date... with Louise Red chimp
5. Call Spigot shorty while he's in earshot
4. Help Rebecca in one of her schemes
3. Tell Baloo you bought the Sea Duck from Rebecca
2. Call Don Karnage crazy.
1. Remove Baloo's pilot license...permanently
Top ten TaleSpin Pickup Lines
(By She-Wolf)
10. WildCat: Gosh, you make my motor run
9. Dr. Zabaldo: So, do you like toast?
8. Kitten Kaboodle: *sob* I'm just a misunderstood actress! If you would only give me one
date, I'll show you how talented I am.
7. Ace London: Why don't we go back to my place as I sweep you off your feet with my
natural charm.
6. Colonial Spigot: Miss, I insist you go out with me. Otherwise I'll have you shot!
5.Rebecca: Do business with me and I guarantee overnight satisfaction!
4. Maddog: Well, why won't you go out with me?
3. Baloo: What say you and I just fly on back to my place?
2. Shere Khan: I'm single and a multimillionaire. Case Dismissed.
1. Don Karnage: Just let me get next to you and I'll steal your heart.
Top Ten Lines Cut From the TaleSpin Pilot Episode
("Plunder & Lightning")
(By Shogun Raptor)
10 Louie: Oh man, the heath department's comin'...hey fuzzy, help
me pick all the vermin out of my employees' fur!
9. Becky: Molly, remember how mommy said we'd have to do something drastic if the
air cargo thing didn't work? Well I just saw the pilot...how well can you fake seizures?
8.Dumptruck: Daaah, it's my ball of band-aids, I've saved every band aid I've ever used,
here. Here's one from nineteen yixty two.
7. Kit: He's the mechanic? What the hell has he been smoking? And more importantly,
where can I get some?
6.Shere Khan: They took the stone? Now what am I going to use to light my barbecue?
5. Becky: "Guess what today is, Molly?" Molly:"The day my real
parents come by and take me out of this fetid *bleep* hole?"
4. Baloo: So you're the new owner. Weren't you on a TV show with a guy named
Meathead?
3. Baloo: Kit Cloudkicker? What the hell kind of name is that? Ooh, look out! It's
Kit Cloudkicker! Man, your parents must have been stoned!
2. Don Karnage: We are not thieves, we are pirates! We loot, plunder, and
occasionally run for public office.
1.Baloo: Get your hands off of me, you damn dirty ape!
Top Ten Changes if Talespin Was Written by Matt Groening
(By Shogun Raptor)
1. In the episode with the mechanical pilots [From Here to
Machinery], when their creator tried to get one of them to change course, it'd tell him to
"Bite my shiny metal @$$!"
2. Rebecca would have a five-foot blue hairdo
3. Shere Khan would have a personal assistant who "prefers the company of other
men" if you catch my drift
4. Higher for Hire would have a one-eyed alien for a pilot
5. Kit would stop going with Baloo to Louie's and start crank-calling Louie's instead
6. Molly would be much more profound and start playing the saxaphone.
7. Whistlestop Jackson and other past heroes and villains would come back as disembodied
heads in jars.
8. Don Karnage would try at least one scheme with him sneaking into a Cape Suzette TV
station dressed in a bad bee costume
9.Col Spigot would have a love-nasium
10. Trader Moe would start selling back-alley body parts