"A Few Kumquats Short"

TaleSpin Fan Fic

by Katie Sullivan

Chapter 2

The Captain of the Air Pirates and his family stood by a small, unmarked plane along the docks in Pirate Island. Katarina and Will were there, their baby daughter Wenna dozing in her father's arms.

Katarina shook her head and sighed. "It's bad enough that I have to babysit my own kid, and your rugrats too, sis. That I can handle. Somewhat. But babysitting that bunch of idiots you call a crew..." She glanced at Will and Karnage. "Er, present company not included...for four whole days? I'll go insane!"

Scarlet winced at Katarina's choice of words and put a hand on Karnage's arm to keep him from retaliating. "Now, sis, it won't be that bad. You don't even need to take the Vulture out plundering if you won't want to."

"I would be much preferring it if you did not," Karnage grumbled.

"And at least you won't have to wipe their noses," Scarlet continued.

"Or their butts," Juan added with a giggle.

Katarina shuddered in disgust.

Scarlet grimaced. "That, too."

Juan tugged at his father's coat tail. "Can I fly today, Daddy?"

Karnage smiled slightly but sighed. "Not yet, my son."

"When?" he whined.

"When you are old enough."

"But I'm older now than the last time I asked!"

"Yes, but that was just last week, Juanito." Karnage compromised by putting his seven-year-old son in his lap once he was in the cockpit. "But you can sit here and help me navigate."

Juan settled back against his father's chest and smiled a little. "Okay."

Scarlet settled into the navigator's seat beside him with Victoria in her own lap. Katarina and Will stepped back as Karnage started the engines. "You can always send us a telegram at the hotel if you need to," Scarlet reminded them.

"What aliases are you using this time?" Katarina asked.

"Uh...querido?"

"Frederico and Christine Avila," Karnage reminded them. "I left instructions with Will."

Will nodded.

"I'm Jose!" Juan piped up. "And this is my sister, Consuela!"

Karnage patted his head. "Very good, my boy." Scarlet sighed. She never thought she'd be glad her children were good liars.

"All right, all right, fine," Katarina said, making "shooing" motions. "Get out of here before we change our minds!"

Scarlet noticed that her husband's hands were shaking, but she didn't dare suggest that perhaps she should fly instead. She merely buckled in their children and crossed her fingers. Even with skittish nerves, Karnage was a more than capable pilot.

Fid Jiti was a mere twenty-five miles from the equator, and had the idyllic climate one would expect to find at such a latitude. The island was permanent home to about five hundred people, leaving the rest of the tiny land mass to rainforest. During the International Kumquat Festival, however, the population more than doubled, and hotel rooms were booked solid. Fortunately, bribes were common and effective. A sheaf of bills under the desk procured a two-room suite facing the ocean for Don Karnage...or Frederico Avila, as far as the guest register was concerned.

Karnage sat on the edge of the bed with his arms crossed on his chest, annoyed. "I do not know why we are even here, Scarlet. This is estupid. I do not even like kumquats!"

Scarlet paused in unpacking to plant a kiss on the top of his head. "Relax, querido. You don't have to eat any kumquats. Or mangos. Or anything else you don't like. Just try to clear your head and enjoy yourself." She spoke quietly, partly to calm him and partly to avoid waking the napping children in the next room.

"I am fine, you know. There is nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. I am fine. Fine. Not crazy. Fine." He began wringing his hands nervously and paled, looking anything but fine. Scarlet sat beside him and put an arm around his shoulders, silently remaining until the episode passed. When she felt him relax, she stood without comment and went to the table in the center of the room. "There's a parade in an hour. As soon as the kids wake up from their nap, why don't we go get some ice cream and find ourselves a good spot to watch?"

Karnage sighed. "If you wish, querida."

"I don't even know why I'm here," Rebecca Cunningham said. "If I were back at the office, I could get all kinds of important things accomplished!"

Baloo finished tying the Sea Duck to the dock and grinned at her. "Well, you're here, now, Becky, and I ain't gonna fly ya back until you're good an' rested!" He shooed her out of the doorway and opened the plane's door wide. "All right, everybody out!"

Tourists began filing out, craning their necks back to get a good look at the twenty-foot tall paper maché kumquat in the town square. Some already had their cameras out and were clicking pictures of everything in sight, from banners to fire hydrants. Further down the pier, a similar procession was leaving Kit's Cloudsurfer. Molly elbowed her way over to where her mother was leaning against the Sea Duck's pontoon.

"Ready to go, Mom? We don't wanna miss the parade!"

Kit approached, looking too warm in his leather flight jacket. "I knew we should've brought Wildcat," he griped.

"Somethin' wrong, Lil' Britches?"

"The 'Surfer's making weird noises," he said with a combination of disgust and concern.

"What sorta noises?"

Molly attempted to recreate them. "Sort of a 'clunkety clunkety flump flump clunkety clunkety'."

"That can't be good," Rebecca said. "Were the passengers alarmed?"

"Naw," Kit said. "I don't think any of 'em had even been in a plane before. Didn't know what it was supposed to sound like. But we're gonna have to have somebody take a look at it."

"But the second run of customers--" Rebecca began.

"--will have to either wait or cram into the Duck," Kit finished. "I don't take my clunkety clunkety flump flumps lightly."

Despite his jovial tone, Rebecca could tell Kit wasn't going to budge an inch, and she could hardly argue with him when safety was at stake. "All right, but hurry. While the 'Surfer's grounded, we're losing business!"

"Nuh-uh-uh." Baloo stopped her. "None of that worryin' stuff, now, Boss Lady. I'll head back and pick up the second load of tourists while Kit gets the Cloudsurfer patched up. In the meantime, you an' Molly go buy yourselves kumquats on a stick and watch the parade. And no worryin'!"

Rebecca decided not to argue with the stubborn pilot anymore, and let Molly lead her toward the parade route. Baloo turned around and got the Sea Duck in the air again, and Kit was left to attend to his ailing plane.

He laid a hand on the door handle with the same fondness as Baloo had for the Sea Duck. It was an old plane, but it was his "baby", his ticket to the freedom of the skies, and the slightest problem brought his eyebrows together in worry. He'd never been to Fid Jiti before, but there would undoubtedly be a mechanic nearby. He double-checked to ensure the keys were indeed in his jacket pocket and strolled off down the pier toward a likely-looking hangar.

As he neared it, he saw the sign above the door: Mel's Mechanic Shop. Not much on creativity, but it looked like an honest establishment. Kit strode up and rapped on the door, then, after a moment of silence, noticed the sign taped to the window: "Gone to Festival. Back Later."

Kit cursed under his breath. Such a specific timetable, too. When was "later"? He turned to a graying rabbit fishing from the pier. "Excuse me. Is there another mechanic around here?"

The rabbit squinted at him. "Eh? What'd ya say? Your mother's sick around her ear? Sorry to hear that, sonny. But Mel couldn't help ya with that. Try the clinic on Fifth Street."

"No, no, a mechanic! I need a mechanic! For my plane!"

"I'm sure the pain in her ear is icky, but I really can't help you."

Kit ran a disgusted hand down his face. How could such long ears be so useless? "Never mind," he said impatiently, stomping away.

"Yeah, I'm sure she'll be fine, too. Take care, now."

Don Karnage smiled in spite of himself as Victoria messily enjoyed her ice cream cone. She sat on his knee, vanilla smears all over her chin, cheeks, mouth and napkin bib. How much ice cream was making its way into her stomach, he couldn't say, but she was enjoying it, and that's what counted.

"I hear music!" Juan piped up, standing up on the stone bench to get a better view of the oncoming parade. Scarlet gently forced him back into a sitting position and attempted to clean the ice cream off his face with a napkin.

A troupe of feline acrobats led the parade, walking on their hands and doing flips to the music of a marching band from Youston. Miss Kumquat, a young husky in a pink ballgown, waved cheerfully from atop a float teeming with her namesake vegetable.

"What is the big deal with the kumquats?" Karnage asked his wife. "They are ugly, estupid little veggietables."

Scarlet shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe they have Vitamin C or something. Don't think so hard, Felipe."

Victoria giggled at the antics of a baton twirler, forgetting her ice cream long enough for her mother to wipe her face with a napkin. She squirmed away, squealing "No!" until she ceased.

Scarlet sensed her spouse suddenly become tense, and she looked to him questioningly.

"I thought...I saw..." he mumbled, searching the crowd. "I could have sweared I saw Cloudkicker over there!"

"Kit Cloudkicker?"

"How many other people with that silly name do you know?" he snarled.

"Good point. Where?"

"By the kumquat-on-a-stick stand!"

Scarlet looked. "I don't see anything, querido."

"But I know I saw..."

She put a hand briefly on his shoulder. "I didn't see anything."

He gazed distantly into the sea of faces for another moment, then turned to her with a fierce scowl. "You are thinking I am hellucinating."

"I didn't say that, Felipe."

"But you were thinking it. I am not crazy. I know what I saw!" he hissed through clenched teeth, the wolfish half of his heritage taking over.

"I never said you were, querido."

But the intensity of his emotion made it clear the real doubt was internal. Wordlessly, he picked Victoria up, deposited her in Scarlet's lap and walked off. Seven years ago she would have followed him and pursued the matter, but the two small children fascinated by the parade forced her to stay put.

Don Karnage melted into the crowd surprisingly well in unassuming khaki pants and a dull, dark purple shirt. He shoved his way through the celebrants toward the beach, desperate to be away from the noise and chaos.

Despite his remarks to Scarlet, he wasn't entirely sure he had hadn't been hallucinating. What would Kit Cloudkicker be doing here? He should be over in Cape Suzette, running cargo from Point A to Point B like a good little boy. Karnage scowled. What a waste of talent!

Still, it wasn't impossible for him to be here. The Kumquat Festival drew droves of people, for some reason Karnage had not yet been able to fathom.

Well, as long as he wasn't recognized, it didn't really matter. He had long ago abandoned interest in the affairs of his ex-protégé. The important issue was his sanity.

Yes, his sanity. If he was hallucinating, he was descending to the same level as his own, poor brother.

Karnage reached the beach and squeezed free of the crowds. A quiet spot under a palm grove beckoned, and he stretched out on the sand to relax. The sounds of the festival died away as he closed his eyes and concentrated on the rhythm of his breathing.

He had Scarlet. He had Juan. He had Victoria. He had Carlotta, although she was in Italy eleven months out of the year. He had a family. He had a crew. He had the most awesome airship ever constructed. He had a fearsome reputation and a respectable reward on his head. He had everything he had ever wanted. So why was his mind feeling like a batch of alphabet soup in a whirlpool?

It simply wasn't fair!

He laid and moped for awhile, allowing the familiar sound of the ocean to work its tranquilizing magic. With the rhythm of the waves, the hushed wind and the warm sand, he might easily have fallen asleep. Just as he began drifting off, however, his children's voices interrupted his reverie, and soon they were climbing all over him.

"Daddy, the parade is over! Mama said we can go swimming now! Come on!" Juan chattered, yanking on his arm while Victoria sat on his stomach.

Karnage gave a weary smile and sat up. "Yes, yes, fine. Swim to your little hearts' contentedness."

Scarlet picked up Victoria and led Juan toward the changing rooms, the bulky bag over her shoulder containing their swimsuits. Karnage sighed and followed.

Before long, Juan was splashing in the surf with Scarlet, while Victoria contented herself squishing her toes in the wet sand at the very edge of the water. Karnage laid on his side next to her, making sure she didn't run into any danger.

He found himself fighting off images of sharks, giant squid, undertow, tsunami, or any other oceanic hazard that might take this precious family away from him. It was silly, of course, and he recognized it as his own paranoia, but he was still nervous.

Victoria squealed in delight as a fresh wave came in, soaking her up to her chubby knees. It was a happy but unexpected sound, and he jumped. Scarlet cast him a concerned look, but he ignored her. He was fine, after all. Fine. One hundred percent fine.

"Daddy, what dis?" Victoria asked, sloshing over to him with a jagged seashell.

"That is a seashell, mi hijita," he explained. ["My little daughter"]

"Seashell?" she repeated. Sadly, Pirate Island was devoid of useful beaches, and this was the girl's first trip to a real one.

"Some little fishies live in them. Like the turtles live in shells," he elaborated.

"Fishie?" Victoria said, attempting to see the inside of the shell. "Fishie in dere?"

The sight of his daughter holding the sharp shell did nothing to calm his jitters. He had visions of her cutting herself, and he gently took it out of her small fingers. "The fishie has movéd out, I think. Come, my princess, I will help you build a sandcastle."

"Sand castle?" she parroted, testing the sound of the new term. She stomped her feet playfully in the wet sand and giggled. "Uh uh! Mud castle!"

Juan yelped suddenly, making Karnage stand up with a panicked look.

"Icky, icky, get it off me!" he wailed. Scarlet began untangling a mass of seaweed from his legs.

Karnage exhaled slowly. It was nothing. Although...surely the son of his glorious self would soon grow braver. Fierce pirates did not throw a fit over a little mess of seaweed. Ah, well. Que será, será. He had to relax!

Victoria seemed content splashing in the shallows and kicking mud, but he decided it was time for a vital part of her education: sand castle construction lessons. He picked her up and settled down further up the beach, where the sand was just the right consistency. He tried showing her the finer points of sand architecture, but she was more interested in squishing mud through her fingers in the same way as she "ate" mashed potatoes. Juan was more helpful, leaving the water behind to assist in digging the moat. Scarlet sat down with them and occasionally managed to smear a little extra Bronzetone on the kids when they weren't paying attention. Having never suffered a bad sunburn, they didn't appreciate the value of sunscreen.

Eventually, the children took over the operation. Their parents retreated to a pair of lounge chairs to bask in the sun. Karnage signaled a waiter at a nearby outdoor café, and soon they each had glasses of iced tea. Then they settled back to enjoy the balmy weather and the sight of their children playing.

By the time they had their sand castle built, (and re-built, after Victoria decided to smash in the north wall), it was sunset. It was nearly impossible to convince the children to leave the beach, but eventually their parents coaxed them away with the promise of returning the next day.

As they strolled down the boardwalk toward the hotel, enjoying the tropical sunset, Victoria tugged on her father's tail. "Up!" she commanded, and Karnage obliged, giving her a piggy-back ride. The exhausted girl sunk into him, her face nestled against his neck.

Scarlet smiled. "Well?" she said quietly. "Feeling any better?"

He thought for a second, only now realizing that, since they set to work on the sand castle, he had felt much calmer...even relaxed. "Sí," he said finally, giving a methodical nod. "A bit, I think."

"Good." She gave him a peck on the cheek, then kissed Victoria's forehead, given the proximity.

As she was nuzzling the sleepy child, she felt Karnage tense up again. "Cloudkicker!" he said urgently, pointing. She turned to see an empty street corner.

"Where?"

"He just went into that restaurant! Did you not see him?"

Scarlet exhaled patiently. "No, querido, I didn't."

"I swear, he was there! I will show you!" He took a step toward the restaurant in question, but she stopped him.

"Not now, Felipe. The kids are tired and hungry."

Whether she believed him or not, he couldn't tell, but Victoria was dead weight on his shoulders, and Juan was rubbing his eyes. "All right, all right. I believe that you believe me. Let us go." He began walking toward the hotel again, doubt still lingering in his confused mind.

Kit Cloudkicker entered the restaurant where he had promised to meet Baloo, Rebecca and Molly. It was crowded, and he wove through the tightly-spaced tables to the corner where the others were sitting. He was a few minutes late, but he saw Baloo was already halfway through the basket of appetizers. Kit nudged Molly over and slid into the booth beside her.

The golden she-cub had blossomed into a beautiful adult bearess, although the denim overalls she wore when working subdued her most attractive features. Many assumed, seeing her at Kit' side, that the two were an "item", but their relationship was merely that of siblings.

"Well?" Molly and Rebecca said together as Kit sat down.

He shook his head. "Mechanic says he won't be done until tomorrow."

Rebecca momentarily put her face in her hands, thinking of the lost business. "Baloo, you'd better not get sluggish from all that food you're stuffing in your face, because you're going to have to fly double-shifts until the Cloudsurfer is airworthy!"

Baloo raised a contoured glass bottle in a solo toast. "Don't worry, Becky, with all the soda pop I' been drinkin' today, I won't sleep for days!"

"It's never stopped you before," she said dryly. "Maybe Kit should go along, and you can switch off if one of you gets tired."

"Look, Boss Lady, I'll be fine. I been pilotin' the Duck for years, and I've only fallen asleep in the cockpit, what...two, three times?

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Rebecca said in a strangled voice.

"Baloo's right, though, Miz Cunningham," Kit said around a mouthful of onion ring. "He'll be okay. Besides, I've gotta keep an eye on those mechanics. If they so much as scratch my plane, I've gotta be there to break some noses!" he said with a wink. "Besides, you're supposed to be resting. Don't think about business stuff."

"Yeah, Mom," Molly said. "I'm sure Wildcat is taking good care of the office."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Higher, this is Hello for Hire. No, er, nngh, wait. It's Higher for Help, how can I Hire you? No, wait. Neesh! Can you, like, hang up and let me try that again? Hello? Anybody there? Hello? Mr. Client? He hung up. Huh. Now let's see. Hello, this is Help for Hire. How can I Higher you? Eenk. Nope. That's not it. Hmm... Maybe..."

Chapter 3
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