Be It Ever So Plundered

TaleSpin Fanfic

by Katie Sullivan

Chapter 3

When the Iron Vulture returned to Pirate Island, its crew found their home in chaos. The pirates who had been left behind were scurrying to and from the docks like ants carrying sugar grains to their nest. Each was lugging a sack of loot, emptying the treasury. A few of the strongest pirates were then loading the sacks onto the cargo plane. Will stood nearby with Sergio, Wenna, Kai and Victoria, supervising and urging them to hurry.

Don Karnage, Scarlet, Juan, Carlotta and Katarina hurried off the Iron Vulture the minute it was docked. The air inside the cavern, while never exactly clothesline-fresh, reeked of sulfur and smoke. Upon seeing her family, Victoria broke away from her uncle and ran into Scarlet's arms.

"What in the name of Jean la Fitte's feet is going on?" Karnage snapped, wrinkling his nose at the stench as he approached his second-in-command.

Will turned to his Captain. "Right after you left, a mild earthquake shook the island. It was just a tremor, and I wasn't going to bother you with it, but then we noticed the sulfur smell. At first I attributed it to crew members who only wash once a month or less, but it got stronger, and another small earthquake hit. The next thing I knew, Gibber was racing around in a panic. I managed to get him to stand still long enough to tell me what was going on. A fissure had opened up in the mess hall and lava was pouring out! The same thing happened in the barracks."

Karnage nodded numbly. A short pirate stumbled by, bent under the weight of a full loot sack. "How much plunder is left in the treasury?"

"They've been loading it all up as fast as they can, sir, but there's still quite a bit left. I'd say forty percent."

Karnage opened his mouth to curse, remembered all the children present, and closed it again. He stood for a moment, letting it all sink in, then bellowed at the pirates, "Hurry up your worthless hides and load that plunder onto the planes! Now!"

The pirates who had been helping to plunder Cape Suzette rushed to join the others.

"Mad Dog! Hal! Dumptruck! Hacksaw! Gibber!" The pirates Karnage had named came over. "You five will help clean out our quarters. My chess set, my books, the photos...everything! I want it on the Iron Vulture immediately!"

They saw that their Captain meant business, so they hurried to do his bidding without stopping to whine about it.

Katarina and Will headed for their own quarters to accomplish the same task.

"Mommy, is the island gonna 'splode?" Juan asked.

Scarlet was torn between lying and scaring him. Finally, she settled on, "I don't know, dear."

Victoria's eyes grew huge, and she buried her face in Scarlet's tail with a whimper. "I don't want the island to esplode!"

Before she could offer any comfort, the ground began to shake. The pirates carrying loot stumbled and spilled the contents of their sacks. The children screamed. Some stalactites from the far-distant ceiling of the cavern came loose and shattered harmlessly into the cove. Then it stopped.

Everyone stood in a daze for a moment. Karnage recovered first. "Get moving, you lazy lackeys!" he shouted, spurring the pirates back into action.

"Children, why don't you help the men pick up all those gold pieces, hmm?" Scarlet suggested. The children reluctantly set about gathering up the spilled doubloons. It was something that had to be done anyway, and it put their mind off the danger.

She turned to her husband. "I'll go see how they're doing in our quarters." He nodded, snuck in a quick kiss, and resumed berating the men.

Scarlet met Mad Dog and the others in the corridor on her way to her quarters. They were loaded down with her possessions and her husband's, wrapped haphazardly in sacks and rugs. A pawn from the chess set fell out and rolled across the ground, and Scarlet snatched it up before it could get lost. It would be safe in her pocket for the time being. She shooed the pirates along and continued on.

Their quarters were torn to pieces, with furniture askew and bookshelves partially bare. She set about gathering up her most prized possessions in a laundry bag: her jewelry, photo albums, box of silly old love letters penned by Felipe, favorite clothes. A few more pirates arrived to take another load of possessions to the Vulture. Scarlet was accumulating a second load when another earthquake struck, as if the island had the chills.

The tremor soon passed, and she resumed her work. Then she heard it: a strange hissing noise from the bathroom. She peeked in to find lava eating away the bathtub. An involuntary scream escaped from her mouth before she slammed the door shut and picked up the pace of her packing.

The small earthquakes grew closer and closer together, and the island began to break apart bit by bit. First the mess hall collapsed in a rush of lava. Then the wall between the barracks and the hallway crumbled in the wake of a tremor. Carlotta and Sergio took on the task of keeping the children calm while their parents scrambled to load their possessions onto the airship.

At last the pirates had emptied the treasury. One stolen cargo plane was filled to capacity with fine linen, china, doubloons, jewelry, silver and assorted other spoils. The cargo plane itself was then stowed in the belly of the Iron Vulture along with Carlotta's plane. The crew didn't own much, and by the time the barracks collapsed they had already removed all their things. Will then set them to work saving all his account books and paperwork.

Karnage walked up to his sister-in-law, who was bent over a crate of guns, attempting to make them all fit.  "Red-haired wench-type-person!   Where is my second mate?"

"Bushy-eyebrowed pirate-type-person!  He's in his office-type-place!"

"There is no need to be rrrude!" he said indignantly.

"Of course there is.  It's fun, estupido."

"If you are not careful, I will leave you here when the island esplodes!"

"I don't think our dear Scarlet would appreciate that, do you?"

"If it weren't for my dear Scarlet, I would have made you walk the plank years ago--at 5,000 feet!"

"Ooh, I'm really scared," Katarina said flatly.   "I'm shaking in my pirate boots."

"Listen here, you scurvy wench--"

"How piratical.  And I get plenty of Vitamin C, thanks.   Oh, and by the way, Captain Eyebrows--"

Whatever witty insult Katarina was about to spout was cut off by a sudden earthquake.  Dust plumed down from the ceiling, making them both cough and squint.  Just as Karnage was about to make a quick exit, the corridor wall crumbled inward, knocking them over in a tangle of guns, rocks and dirt.

When the dust cleared, Don Karnage wiped the grit from his eyes and tried to get his bearings.  "What the--?"

"Get off me, Eyebrow Boy!"

He suddenly realized that he was sprawled on top of Katarina.  With a yelp of surprise he scrambled free, compulsively brushing off his blue coat.   Katarina stumbled to her feet and coughed the dust from her throat.   "Yikes, we just about got killed there!  And...you saved me!  My hero!"  She beamed, clasping her hands in rapture and fluttering her eyelashes at him coyly.  "Oh, sir, how can I ever repay you?"

Karnage grimaced and continued brushing off his coat.  "If we were not in the middle of a nature-all disaster, I would now go and disinflect myself!   Repeatedly!"

"Don't get all mushy on me, Flippy..."

"We never speak of this to anyone.  Got it?"

"Er...not a problem.  Believe me, I'm not mentioning this to anyone...except maybe my therapist..."

The earthquakes had merged into one long, continuous quiver now. Plumes of dust and the occasional stalactite cascaded from the ceiling of the cavern. The children were already in the relative safety of the Iron Vulture with Katarina. The last loads of possessions were being brought onboard now.

Karnage was surprised at just how calm he was. Even he had expected himself to be frantic, panicked...a bit crazy. Yet he wasn't. Reasonably concerned, yes. Alarmed. But he was keeping a remarkably level head.

There was no time to pat himself on the back, however. He dashed to the side as a shower of rocks and other debris rained down from the ceiling. Lava began seeping up through a crack in the floor. He turned to Will. "We are ready to go?"

Will was pale and sweaty, eager to get moving. He nodded vigorously.

"Then we go."

Will needed no second invitation. He ran into the waiting mouth of the Iron Vulture. Scarlet walked out to where her husband was still standing, regarding the crumbling island with a blank, horrified expression.

"Querido, hurry up! It's getting hotter. We haven't got much time!"

"My island..." he murmured.

"Felipe, come on," she insisted, tugging on his arm. "We can stand around in shock later, when we're not blown up!"

Karnage finally snapped out of it. "Yes, yes, of course." He scurried back into the Iron Vulture with Scarlet and headed straight for the bridge.

Katarina, Will and the children were already there. The instant Karnage walked into the room, he nodded and gestured to Scotty, who started up the engines. "Depart at will, Scotty," he said, sinking into the command chair before his shaking knees betrayed him.

"What?" Will said, apparently only hearing his name.

"Not you!" Karnage snapped.

"Oh." Will resumed rocking a fussing baby Kai.

As soon as the Iron Vulture's engines were running at full power, Scotty pulled the lever for the last time, opening the great doors. Sunlight streamed into the crumbling cavern. Without the tugboat, the airship sailed forward at a terribly slow pace, hardly seeming to move at all. Scarlet hugged her two children close, hushing them with meaningless calming sounds.

Karnage gripped the arms of the command chair until his knuckles turned white, gritting his sharp teeth. Just a little further...

The water around them began to steam. Huge sulfurous bubbles erupted from the depths, and more stalactites showered down.

Sergio and Carlotta were kneeling in a corner, apparently praying. Katarina clung to a sobbing Wenna, speechless for once. Karnage leaned forward in his chair as if that would make the ship move more quickly. Just a little further...

Larger and larger chunks of ceiling began breaking free. The water was alive, dancing in frothy swirls from both the debris raining down and the constant earth tremors.

Karnage held his breath. Just a little further...

They were clear of the cavern. Scotty punched the rotors, and the Iron Vulture shot into the air. Before it reached flight level--

*BLOOEY!*

It was as if a giant hand had swatted the airship. In a rush of noise, heat and confusion, they tumbled end over end, out of control, lurching and spinning, turning and twirling, creaking and smashing and then--

Somehow, Scotty regained control. The airship fishtailed and shuddered and then resumed a steady course.

"That was fun!" Juan said with a nervous giggle.

His sister and cousins were wailing loudly, contradicting him. Scarlet held Victoria close, patting her back. "There, there, Victoria," she whispered. "It's over."

"Yes." Karnage had staggered to the peri-telescope and was looking back toward where the island would be--if he could see whatever was left of it through the dense ash. "It is."

Chapter 4
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