The B.B.C
By
Ben Gingell
Author’s Note:- All Talespin characters are copyright Walt Disney
Scarlet: Even tho’ he’s dead or frozen or whatever.
Joe: (gets odd visual of Walt as Mr. Freeze)
Katarina: (looks down at the popsicle she’s been eating, and shudders)
and are being used without permission.
Katarina: Not PREmission for once! Yay!
No money is
Scarlet: --enough to compensate for my mental trauma.
being made from this fic, and is written with
Katarina: …horrible, evil ideas, knowing Ben…
great respect to the Talespin team.
Katarina: *snorts* Ya. Turning Kit into a monster is such *great* respect…
Joe: (checks notepad) Great respect to the Talespin team, with some monsterism…
So please don’t sue me as I am a poor
Scarlet: --writer… :-p
student with little or no money. All other characters are the property of the author.
Joe: who he keeps locked up in his basement.
"Three, two, one"
Joe: Contact!
Katarina: (high fives Joe)
Becky counted down. Nothing happened. Frustration began to grow. For the last two weeks Baloo had been on
Scarlet: --massive amounts of Valium
Katarina: --Viagra…
Gidget: Ya! Grrrrow!
time. Her constant nagging had finally
Scarlet: --caused him to snap, and he took a shotgun into Louie’s and started firing randomly.
come off one him and he had become more reliable. Some hope. If two weeks was all he could manage, she had years more nagging to make it a month.
Scarlet: Is that the New Math?
Joe: (growls at all math in general)
Scarlet: (throws grenade at math in general)
Katarina: (Whistles and casually sets a math book on fire)
Joe: Oooh! (warms hands by fire and whips out bag of marshmallows)
Anger shook her body.
Katarina: (Rebecca) Hey! Put me down! Stop that!
This time Rebecca had, had enough.
Scarlet: Okay, I know "had had" looks awkward, but no comma. Please. You know bad grammar makes me go into convulsions.
Katarina: Has the doctor talked to you about this epilepsy? J
She was going to fire Baloo,
Katarina: You know, looking back on Ben’s previous fics, "fire" is not a good term. (shudders at the thought of the charred monkeys)
Joe: (sings) Ninety-nine…dead baboons…sitting in my…oh never mind.
in front of Kit and his mates
Scarlet: (shakes head) I know Ben’s British, but there’s just something *wrong* with that phrase.
Joe: Oh, blimey Sheila!
Katarina: (laughs uncontrollably at the thought of Baloo having "mates", until Gidget bludgeons her with a dead trout)
at Louie’s, to teach him a lesson. As she phoned for an air Taxi,
Scarlet: Whoever that loser on the board was would be thrilled.
Joe: Some people are weird. Even more than us!
Katarina: Yup. That’s why I’m scared to leave the house…
she told herself that she would rehire him a week later.
"Wait here, I won’t be long." she told the driver after landing at Louie's. As she stepped out of the aircraft she could here the distant rumbling
Scarlet: Hear, not here, you gramattically-challenged moron!
Katarina: Distant rumbling? Has Baloo been eating burritos again?
Scarlet: Oh, just read on and see…
of thunder.
Joe: But it was just Hera, who had come to strike vengeance…
Katarina: I know that this was Zeus, not Hera, but can I throw lightning bolts at Ben? Please?
Scarlet: Be my guest.
Katarina: (perks up) Thanks! (flings death at Ben, incidentally incinerating a few innocent bystanders) Oops. *shrugs* Oh well.
Joe: Actually I was thinking of the TV series when Hera comes on, with just her eyes and there's a big ol' storm in the background.
"Great, just what I need to improve my mood"
Katarina: What? Drugs? (rummages in "goodie bag")
Rebecca said under her breath as she marched across the jetty
Katarina: Jetty is just such a weird word.
towards the bar. On reaching the door, she paused to take a
Scarlet: --handful of random pills…
Katarina: Hey! Get out of my stash!
deep breath, ready to yell at Baloo the moment she saw him.
"One, two, three" she counted and pushed open the door.
Joe: Why was she counting? Was it really heavy or something? I thought it was made out of bamboo…
As she did so, she was met by a huge gust of air, that
Scarlet: --was caused by MiSTers groaning at the misplaced comma.
pushed her backwards, accompanied by a loud, deep rumble.
Joe: in The Bronx…
Franticly grabbing a pole she clung on as the force of the air pushed her body horizontal. After a few seconds the gust was gone, and she landed on her feet again, only to hear a loud cheer coming from inside the club. The sudden fall of the gust caused her to land on her stomach on the dock, quite hard and she sat for a few minutes getting her breath back.
Joe: I could make a sick comment here but I’ll pass…
She straightened her hair
Katarina: Come on now. Rebecca never does *anything* with her hair!
and walked into the club. Now more determined than before to yell at Baloo.
The first thing which struck her was
Scarlet: --a flying gerbil. **SPLAT**!!!
the size of the crowd,
Katarina: A gerbil the size of a crowd?! O_o
Scarlet: LOL!!!
even for Louie’s, this was a large crowd. Above the stage was a large banner
Joe: Make noise if you have a fear of crowds…odd…
"B.B.C Here Today" it read.
Katarina: (suddenly gets the song "Do the BBC" from Austin Powers in her head) Damn!
Then she saw Kit, coming
Katarina: Heh heh…
onto the stage, Baloo whispered something into his ear,
Scarlet: In light of Kat’s comment, those two phrases are unbelievably icky! :-p
Joe: =(
and he nodded back.
"Lets hear it for our shortest, youngest competitor!"
Katarina: Hey, it’s not the size of your competitors that counts!
Scarlet: Way to play up Kit’s self-esteem, there. He’s not short, he’s vertically challenged.
Katarina: Hey, Kit *never* has any self-esteem to start with in these fics.
Louie said through a microphone as the crowd cheered with enthusiasm.
"Now, you have to beat 48 seconds, to get past Dunder of Thembria." Louie said into the microphone "Do you think you can do it?"
Katarina: With who?
Scarlet: Do it? Is his girlfriend around? (rimshot)
Joe: (rumbles drum and beats a cymbal)
"I’ll give it my best shot!" Kit replied.
Katarina: I’ll give Ben a shot…(pumps submachinegun)
"Okay, in your own time." Louie said before backing off.
Kit stood on the stage for a few seconds not doing anything, then he closed his eyes, and crouched down onto the stage. He stayed there for a few seconds more, before he jumped up to the microphone and burped. And it kept on coming.
Scarlet: (looks impassively to Katarina, waiting for the inevitable joke)
Joe: I feel like I’m watching Howard Stern’s show…
Katarina: Heh heh…(insert your own obscene comment here)
Louie standing behind him was looking at a stopwatch.
Scarlet: Now, see, sometimes commas are necessary.
Eventually, Kit closed his mouth and stopped. He turned to Louie, panting of air "How, did I do?" he asked.
"Well Kit-boy, that was 29 seconds,
Katarina: 29 seconds? Maybe Kit’s been into Baloo’s Viagra!
Joe: (bitchslaps Kat) J
which puts you in…" He turned to a waiter behind the bar, who after a few seconds held up a number "4th place. Not bad. Now next contestant will be from Kahn industries…."
Katarina: But not Khan industries. Kahn was a cheap knock-off trying to edge in on the business.
Louie continued.
Scarlet: I wonder if they’re competitors for Khan Industries…
(looks at Kat’s comment, made later) o_0 Warped minds think alike!
Katarina: (insert Twilight Zone music here)
Rebecca stood open mouthed
Katarina: I could make another really bad comment here, you realize.
Gidget: If it’s about B&B, please do!
Katarina: (eyes Ted and his chainsaw) Uh…I’ll pass.
at the back of the bar, before deciding she had to know what was going on. Pushing herself through the crowed bar,
Scarlet: Crowed? Crow? Well, this is a MiST, so…
she finally reached Baloo.
"What are you doing here?" she asked in the firmest, but politest voice she could manage.
"Oh, ah, Becky.."
"Miz Cunningham to you buster." She replied pointing a finger into his chest.
Scarlet: (points a finger, too)
"Uh, okay, Miz Cunningham, Me and Kit…"
"Kit and I."
Baloo groaned
Scarlet: Yeah, people who correct others’ grammar are sooooo annoying… (rolls eyes) (others look at Scarlet and make "tsk tsk tsk" noises) Er… Moving on…
"Kit and I, are trying to get you some extra work."
Katarina: (Baloo) See, there’s this brothel downtown that’s hiring right now…
She raised an eyebrow "Really, from what I saw Kit is beginning to show many of your more…unsociable qualities."
Joe: said Jean Grey to Wolverine…
Kit finally managed to
Scarlet: --tie his own shoes.
Ted: Grr!
Scarlet: Eh…heh heh…never mind.
push his way back to Baloo as the Kahn
Katarina: …not Khan…
pilot finished burping.
Scarlet: Shere should put something in the employee manual against this…
Joe: There's a session in his office I'd like to see…(Khan) Blow a mighty one for me, would you?
"45 seconds" Louie told the crowd "That’s second place."
The pilot raised his fist
Joe: and flipped everyone off.
in triumph.
Rebecca turned back to Baloo "Look, what is going on here?"
"It’s the B.B.C today"
Katarina: (singing) Do the BBC…Do the BBC…
Kit said with a grin "Papa bear has been training for the last week for this."
Joe: (shudders when he thinks of how he must have trained)
"What is the B.B.C?"
Katarina: Well, it’s the British Broadcasting Corporation, but somehow, I don’t think that’s what Ben means. Which is odd, since he *is* British…
Rebecca asked, while thinking "Do I really want to know this?"
Scarlet: Believe me, you don’t, Rebecca.
"Oh, didn’t you know?" Baloo asked in surprise "It’s the Big Burping Contest, and I am going to win it for the company." He beamed a smile at his boss.
Scarlet: Oh, yeah, that’s *great* P.R.
Joe: Afterwards, Becky can enter a yelling contest…
Katarina: They actually have those you know. I think Becky’s a shoo-in.
"Why do I want my business to be associated with a fat, lazy pilot who is late and only talent is a 50 second burp?"
Scarlet: My point exactly.
Katarina: And something else that lasts 50 seconds, after taking Viagra…
Joe: (sings) There's Viaaaaaagraaaaaa...in the water…
"The prize is a 5 year contract to supply Louie worth $5,000 a year."
Katarina: Supply Louie with *what*? I really don’t think I want to know.
Kit told her.
Rebecca’s mood changed instantly
Katarina: She had PMS.
"What are you doing sitting here? Get up there! Win that contract, I have full confidence in you."
Joe: LOL! I can picture her saying that.
Scarlet: Must be Becky’s time of the month. Such mood swings!
Katarina: (bitchslaps Scarlet for reading her mind)
Scarlet: Sorry, sis. I like light reading. (Ducks second bitchslap) Sorry! Kidding! Ow!
Katarina: (keeps pummeling Scarlet)
She grabbed Baloo by the shirt and pulled him closer
Gidget: Ooh! (starts drooling)
Katarina: (gets out a bucket to catch the drool)
"Because if you don’t win I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE!" She yelled.
Joe: Oh, Ben. Tsk, tsk, tsk…you were doing so well…
Scarlet: (rummages in her grabby bag and hands Becky some Midol)
Katarina: (pops a pill of her own)
"Easy boss lady." Baloo pushed her away
Katarina: Baloo doesn’t like it when Becky’s got PMS.
"There are still more contestants to get through before me." He continued as yet another burp echoed around the club.
Scarlet: You know, if I ever feel my plot is weak…I’ll just remember this attempt at a fic, and be comforted by the fact that none of my plots could possibly be this lame. J
Katarina: Hang on…you have PLOTS? (ducks brick)
Scarlet: (signals a guy in a hardhat to drop a craneload of bricks on top of Kat)
Katarina: (opens a keg o’ whoop ass)
Ted: Girls, girls! Don’t fight! Well, unless you’re wearing bikinis and are doing it in mud…
Joe: (groans and releases a ton of ice water on Ted)
Gidget: Is this a Kat Fight?
(everyone starts throwing bricks at Gidget and Ted)
Rebecca finally calmed down, and sat, next to her star pilot
Katarina: Of course Baloo is her "star" pilot! He’s her *only* pilot!
waiting for his turn.
Scarlet: Too many commas! AARRRRG! (bashes Ben over the head with the Oxford English Dictionary)
Katarina: (Ben) Ooh! Lookit the purdy stars!
"Is this why you have been on time for the last two weeks?" she asked him.
"What? The contest?" Baloo blushed. "I thought if I was on time,
Katarina: (Baloo) …then I wasn’t pregnant!
you won’t be so angry
Joe: Woop! Tense change! They’re literary land mines, folks…
if I took some time off here, and if I won, it was going to be a surprise."
"Oh, Baloo, you are sweet." She replied.
Scarlet: Er, no. Not really.
Gidget: Aw, sure he is. He’s her little butterball!
Scarlet: Little?
Gidget: Uh…well…er…
"Well, you are a bit of a money grabbing business woman aren’t you? I thought you would like a free contract."
"Capitalism is the name of the game"
Scarlet: I thought it was the Big Burping Contest.
Joe: (sings "The Name Game")
Katarina: I thought it was Twister…
she said "And Baloo, please win and beat the communists."
Scarlet: I have only one thing to say… "o_0"
Katarina: …So, Baloo got out a cudgel and beat them. The end.
Joe: ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry…but (cracks up again) That communist line just kills me…
Katarina: (calls the paramedics to revive Joe)
She gestured to the Thembrians.
Katarina: …using a one-finger salute…
"I’ll do my best." Baloo assured her.
"You will do more than your best" Rebecca snapped back.
Katarina: (rummages in her bag o’ pills for some Midol for Becky)
"That contract is worth a lot of money, and it would be better to go to me than to the Thembrians, also to get it all you have to do is burp. You can do that" Rebecca fell
Scarlet: --on her hands and knees and begged Ben to write her into a better plot.
Katarina: Hey, at least the "plot’ that Ben’s written her into this time isn’t a cemetary plot!
Joe: Lucky us.
silent.
"Hmmm, imagine if all our contracts were decided this way" Kit, who was
Joe: testing my patience…
sitting on the bar between the two adults suddenly said "We would be the biggest
Scarlet: --idiots in town. Yep.
cargo company in Cape Suzette."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence L’il Britches." Baloo said as he rubbed Kit’s head.
Ted: ARG! Evil, condescending bear! Die, die!
Gidget: (bashes Ted over the head with a frying pan)
Katarina: It’s nice to know that Kit has such great confidence in Baloo’s gastrointestinal tract.
"And now give a big hand to our final competitor Baloo!" Louie finally said.
Katarina: And the humungous hand of God came down to smite him. The end.
Joe: Well that was unexpected…
Baloo got up to a thunderous applause from the club’s regulars.
Katarina: Regulars? Must be eating lots of fiber :P
And a thumbs up from Kit. On arriving on stage Louie took him aside. "Listen Baloo, I want you to win, I don’t want to have to pay the Thembrians. Got it?"
Joe: Well if "it" is a clue, no.
"Got it"
Scarlet: Oh, so we’re justifying this exercise in stupidity by putting Louie’s financial stability in jeopardy. Suuuuure. Whatever.
Joe: I thought the Thembrians had fairly good relations with Louie. Shows what I know…
Katarina: Heh heh. You said "relations". With Louie! Ew!!!!!!
Joe: I think I'll go find a nice, quiet abandoned field in the middle of nowhere I can creep off to now…
Louie went back to the microphone "Well, as our final competitor Baloo, you have to beat 48 seconds to win the contract for your company Higher for Hire.
Scarlet: It’s not his company anymore, it’s Becky’s.
Becky: (smugly) Ya got THAT right!
In your own time."
Baloo stood on stage, swallowing
Scarlet: --cyanide tablets to escape the idiocy of this fic.
air, building it up in his stomach, along with the fizzy drinks he had been drinking all afternoon, this should be a good one."
Scarlet: Random quotation marks. Just what I needed. (twitches)
Katarina: We really need to get you an epileptic bracelet.
Joe: Scarlet, have you been watching the seizure episode of Pokemon or somethin'??
As he had instructed Kit, he crouched down on the stage, swallowing more air. And like Kit did, he suddenly jumped up and approached the microphone, opened his mouth…..
But nothing happened.
Scarlet: Oh, great, Baloo’s got performance anxiety.
Gidget: (sighs)
Katarina: I guess that was just fake Viagra…
Baloo gave a confused look quickly to Kit, who just gave him a panic
Joe: attack. Darn Kit…
stricken look back.
Then, the deep rumbling sound, quite at first started, then grew louder and deeper.
Joe: Ben watches Animaniacs a lot, I’ll bet… (Wakko) He stole my bit!
Scarlet: Yeah, but at least Wakko does his burping to the tune of classical music.
Kit saw Baloo’s stomach vibrating.
Katarina: Heh heh. Vibrate. Heh heh…
Knowing what it meant from all Baloo’s training, he quickly told Rebecca to get behind the bar. He was about to join her when the shock wave struck.
Scarlet: I just hope it comes out of the top end…
Joe: (laughs, almost in tears)
Baloo burped. Not a quiet burp. A loud, powerful, thrust of air. Kit could not take cover in time and was carried up towards the ceiling,
Scarlet: A vertical burp? Wouldn’t it be horizontal? Oh, never frickin’ mind….
where he grabbed hold of a rafter, and held on for dear life. The people at the tables near the stage, were blown back, into the people behind them and so on, until nearly all the people in the club was forced back against a wall, which, not being designed to withstand such pressure,
Joe: I’m getting so many "Akira" flashbacks right now…
Katarina: Why? Did they belch in that movie?
fell leaving the drinkers outside on the beach. The ground started to shake, and fittings in the club began to fall.
Scarlet: It was a freak earthquake that just happened to hit at the same time as Baloo’s burp.
After what seemed an eternity, Baloo stopped. He opened his eyes, just in time to see the dust settle. Kit, who was still swinging from a rafter,
Scarlet: I’m getting this ugly mental picture of Kit as a monkey.
Ted: (bitchslaps Scarlet)
Scarlet: Hey! I *said* it was ugly!
Katarina: What about Kit’s monkey? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink?
Scarlet: What’s about it? Well, his girlfriend, most of the time…
Joe: (screams into his throw pillow)
jumped towards him. Baloo caught the young cub and set him on the stage, as the first groaning customers began to come back in through the hole in the wall.
Joe: That led to the Negaverse, verse, verse. verse…
Louie walked to the front of the stage, and picked the microphone back up, setting it back into its stand.
"Well, uh, with a burp of 2 minutes and 24 seconds
Katarina: O_o That beats my dad!
the winner is Baloo of Higher for Hire. Bad luck to our Thembrian friends who just missed out. Where is the Colonel?"
Scarlet: Colonel Sanders? Does Louie want chicken?
Dunder looked around and found him with is head stuck in a jar
Katarina: Is this Futurama? (celebrities heads preserved in jars)
Joe: COOL!
"Here he is" he said triumphantly as he showed the crowd.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" the colonel yelled.
Joe: Okay, you have to admit, this part is hilarious…
Dunder thought for a moment
Katarina: *snorts* Dunder? Think? Ha ha ha ha…
the said
Katarina: The *what* said?
"Sorry sir, you’re stuck. But it will be all my fault." With a wave at Baloo he left the bar, with the jar tucked under his arm. Telling the colonel that he did not want to break the jar in case he hurt the head of the Thembrian air force.
Scarlet: Sentence…fragments…can’t…see… (stumbles around blindly, bumping into walls)
Katarina: Hurt the head’s head? Ha. Not.
As they approached the cliff of Cape Suzette Rebecca started to kiss
Gidget: --Baloo.
Katarina: Well…ya! After all of that Viagra, I mean…
the fresh contract. "I can’t thank you two enough. Baloo for winning me this, and Kit, well, for having a good try."
"Thanks Miz Cunningham" Kit replied
Joe: Yes, Kit, we’re all just so proud…0_o
"Why didn’t you enter though?"
"Well, a lady of my upbringing doesn’t go around burping at every……What has happened to the city?" She suddenly pointed past Kit and Baloo and out of the windscreen.
Scarlet: Windshield. Or is that a Britishism?
Joe: Rather.
The city looked like a bomb had gone off.
Joe: Musta been Ben’s previous fics…;)
Windows were missing, some buildings had collapsed, boats were sitting in streets and a few fires were burning.
"Do you think the air pirates?"
Scarlet: Geez, I hope not. It’s bad enough we have to suffer through this. Leave my querido out of this!
Kit asked with a slight sound of nerves in his voice.
"No, cliff guns are still in place" Baloo replied.
They flew on in silent looking at the destruction below them, before landing at the relatively intact Higher for Hire building.
Scarlet: (drags that sentence out into the street and runs over it with a truck)
Joe: (golf clap)
Katarina: Which golfer has the clap?
Scarlet: Well, I think Kit’s girlfriend’s done the entire PGA tour, so…
Wildcat stood to the jetty to greet them.
"Wildcat! What happened?" Baloo asked with some urgency.
Joe: The Day After Baloo’s Burp. Yeesh…
"Well, I was making a jelly bean, peanut butter and tomato sandwich,
Katarina: >:P Blah!
uh, want some?" he offered a half eaten sandwich to Baloo.
Scarlet: Is Wildcat pregnant?
"No thanks."
"Okay. Oh yeah, there was this thundering sound. It was shaking everything like this." Wildcat started top shake around
Joe: (gets weird visual of Wildcat spinning like a top)
the dock.
"Then what?" Baloo asked.
Wildcat thought
Scarlet: Two words that are rarely seen together…
"Then there was this huge gust of wind, and it kept on coming and coming and coming.
Joe: (laughs and looks over to Kat)
Scarlet: (laughing to the point of hyperventilation)
Katarina: The Baloo-ergiser. He just keeps coming… I mean, after that Viagra…
Gidget: Yay!
Katarina: Geez, after using that joke so many times, I’m starting to feel like Dave Letterman…Take a look at my teeth. Is there a gap in them?
Joe: You mean like the Gap for bad Fanfic writers?? J
Every thing started saying "Help me, I don’t like this, then fell over"" Wildcat fell flat on his back on the dock.
Next day.
Katarina: Nice and abrupt scene change. Yup, that’s Ben for you.
"Scientists still have no explanation to the freak
Katarina: Who you calling a freak?!
wind storm which struck Cape Suzette yesterday causing wide spread devastation in the 2 minutes and 24 seconds it occurred.
Scarlet: (shaking head) This is so unbelievably stupid!
Joe: (just laughs uncontrollably)
Katarina: Joe, are you loopy on the junk?
Joe: You mean like an Asian fish boat? Nope…
In other news, millionaire Shere Khan,
Katarina: …whose name Ben suddenly knows how to spell…
head of Khan industries has filed for bankruptcy due the high insurance claims made against Khan insurance."
Kit turned the radio off.
"Wow Baloo that was some burp."
Joe: Oh, yes. Bravo.
Katarina: Johnny Bravo? (JB) Hey mama…
"Now get going you two or you will be late"
Katarina: Just as long as Becky’s not late!
Gidget: Well, after all that Viagra…
Scarlet: (hits both of them over the head with a dead sea bass)
Joe: But is it a *mutant* sea bass?
Katarina: But are they ill-tempered?
Scarlet: (hits them all again)
Rebecca pushed them towards the door, as a sharp, abrupt knock was heard.
Kit opened the door to see Shere Khan standing there.
Scarlet: --naked.
(Liz Spencer suddenly comes running into the room, panting) Did someone say Khan’s nekid? Ya baby!
Katarina: (Drools)
"Ah, master Cloudkicker,
Scarlet: "Master"? o_0
Katarina: …bates. Actually, I was going to make a Jedi joke, but Scarlet thought this was more "appropriate". Go figure.
Joe: (Khan as Burt) Spiffy ya chimney, gov’na??
please show me to Rebecca Cunningham."
"Back there" Kit pointed to Rebecca.
"My thanks" Khan growled as he went past.
"Now Miz Cunningham" Khan began "I know we have had our differences, but as one business leader to another, I ask you know for a job."
Scarlet: Now. Not know.
Katarina: Khan? Asking *Becky* for a job? Hell-o! This *is* a delusional fantasy!
Scarlet: Well, what with all the competition with Kahn Industries…
"What?" all members of the room apart from Khan yelled together.
"Excuse me Mr. Khan" Rebecca pushed Kit and Baloo out the door "Well we do have an opening."
Scarlet: Perhaps, but we don’t have any commas.
Joe: if you know what she means… Oh, ew, I can't believe I just wrote that…
Five hours later…
"I wonder what old Becky found khan to do?" Baloo asked Kit as they approached the dock at Higher for Hire again.
"Dunno. Bet he deserves it though." Kit laugh.
Scarlet: Meanwhile, Rebecca had locked herself in her bedroom with Shere…
Gidget: Traitor!
Katarina: Grrrrrrrrrow!
Liz Spencer: (jealous pout)
As they got closer they could see Wildcat cleaning out the drains and swear pipes.
Scarlet: I’d swear that was supposed to be a different word, but… :-p
Joe: Swear pipes? Is that like singing curse words to bagpipes??
Katarina: Curse words are often associated with bagpipes…
As they got closer they could see it wasn’t Wildcat it was Khan.
"Oh yeah!" Kit said "I couldn’t think of anything better"
Baloo just chuckled.
Khan hated manual work. He heard the plane land and two pairs of feet approach him, but he did not look up.
As he got nearer, Baloo stamped down in a muddy puddle, which covered Kahn in foul smelling water.
"Opps, sorry Khany. Didn’t see you down there." Baloo said trying not to laugh.
Scarlet: That’s just cruel! Baloo’s not that mean, and Khan doesn’t deserve that! (hits Ben with a dead trout)
Joe: Geez, Ben, why don’t you just kick him in the face and laugh at him?? By the way, (growls at the idea of Baloo being mean to Khan)
After they had got inside laughing at their joke Khan was alone with is thoughts.
Joe: (with thick Cockney accent) ‘Is thoughts is might important, wot?
Katarina: (as Khan thinking) Let’s see…I have these razor sharp claws and Baloo has a nice, soft, large underbelly…
"Give me time Mr Baloo, I will get my revenge. You’ll see. And so will Rebecca Cunningham."
The End.
Scarlet: (shaking head in mute horror) The stupidity! The lack of plot! The bad punctuation and grammar! The…the…AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! (falls over, unconscious)
Joe: What she said.
Katarina: And the way that Ben just threw that Khan thing in at the end. Pointless! But then, do we expect anything less from Ben?
All: No.
Liz Spencer: Thanks for the cameo, guys. I’m just going to take this big, muddy, lonely tiger home now.
All: Okaaaay…have…fun?
Liz: Oh, we will…
Joe: (blowing kiss towards audience) GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!!!!!