[Pirate King -- Part II]

>Rebecca was now fuming.

Joe: I know this is sick, but you’re making me hungry…

As she heard the Sea Duck splash down, she sat behind he desk and took in a deep breath. She was in no mood to tolerate one of Baloo's excuses, as she had lost

Scarlet: her mind from being stuck in this terrible fanfic…

two clients already due to late deliveries which should have been made by this morning.

>She looked down at her desk and started to read

Scarlet: The Weekly World News. (Rebecca) Wow! Some guy in Zimbabwe has seven arms! And he’s psychic, too!

an invoice. As the door opened she looked up sharply ready to yell, but instead of seeing Baloo the cocky pilot, she saw a bear with a

Scarlet: hooker.

great pain.

Scarlet:  Like this fic...

Her face melted instantly,

Joe: (Indiana Jones) Don’t look at the ark!!!

and she ran towards him and gave him a hug.

Gidget: Yes!

"What was that for?" he asked a little surprised but he appreciated it.

>"You look like you need it. What on Earth happened Baloo?"

Scarlet: I don’t think any of this is of this Earth.

>He hesitated the walked

Joe: Is that a dance step??

away from her.

>"What happened Baloo? Are you okay?"

Scarlet: (Baloo) I’ve got gas pains like you wouldn’t believe!

>"Louie's dead"

Joe: (inappropriately) HA ha!

and he collapsed into his well worn red easy chair.

>Now it was Rebbeca's turn to look shocked. She sat on the edge of her desk. A tear formed in her right eye.

Scarlet: Just the right one, because the left one was glass.

When she next spoke it was soft and with a tremor.

>"How?"

>"Do you remember, when you first came I had a young boy staying with me?"

>"You mean, oh what was his name?

Joe: (Becky) Lemme see, he saved all our lives…Kip?? Chip?? Oh, I give up…

Kit? Yes, I remember him. He helped us to defeat the air pirates. What of him? Last I remember of him he disappeared just afterwards. I alway wondered what happened to him, why?" Slowly a realisation came to her face "He did it didn't he?

Joe: Well…he IS eighteen by now, Becky…

What happened Baloo?"

>Baloo looked away, out the window so that he didn't have to look at Becky.

Gidget: (smacks Scarlet)

>"He came in. Tried to get Louie to give him money for "insurance"

Joe: And we still don’t know what kind of insurance it was! What a jip!

He mentioned with his paws quotation marks "then when Louie refused, he.....he...he"

Scarlet: (Dr Evil) shot him with a "laser" from his "Death Star"

>"Don't Baloo if it hurts"

>"His men fired machine guns round the bar, and one killed Jack.

Scarlet: (Rose) Jack! I’ll never let go, Jack! I’m c-c-c-cold, Jack!

Louie still refused. He..tied him up with his waiters and poured petrol

Katarina: (bangs head against desk) It’s gas you idiot!

on them." Baloo then looked straight

Katarina: Baloo? Straight? (laughs maniacally, until she sees Gidget clenching her fist)

into Rebbecca's eyes

(Becky, in slow motion) Baaaaaaaaaaaalloooooooooooooooooooooo…

and added "I still hear his screams, and

Joe: (Baloo) he screamed like a girl! It was so funny! Oh, I guess ya had to be there…

I could not do anything to help him. What kind of

Scarlet: demented fanfic writer is responsible for this drivel?

friend am I?

Joe: I think he’s more like Joey…(sings) Nobody told you the fanfic was gonna be this way…(claps four times)

I couldn't help him." and he threw his head down in disgust with himself.

Joe: (Baloo) Alas, poor Louie! I knew him, Rebecca! He smelled funny…did you ever notice that??

>"Baloo if you could have done anything I am sure you would have done."

Scarlet: Er…yeah. Whatever.

>"He had a gun on me at all times."

>"Oh no, now we have two lunatics running around."

Joe: Three if you count the author…

>"Why two?"

Joe: K? It was a virus…hey, maybe that’s what K stood for!

>"Well, we now have Kit and the person who

Scarlet: wrote this terrible fanfic!

planted that bomb"

>Baloo put his paws over his eyes and started to cry

Joe: Ha ha! Wussy!

"No Becky, he did that as well" he wiped his eyes "He said he wanted to get his revenge on

Joe: Martha Stewart.

people who

Scarlet: invented telemarketing. Not that I’d blame him, mind you.

hurt him when he was a street kid. Oh and he killed Karnage and took over the air pirates."

(Becky) That little punk!

>Rebecca was stunned

Katarina: by these unbelievably low, low prices!

. She remembered a young bear cub looking like he could never hurt anyone, he looked lost,

Karnage: The GO network? No!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs screaming)

all alone in the world and she really like him in the short time she had known him and he wold have

Scarlet: always run spellchecks, if they had existed then.

been a great big brother for Molly as well, but that was when she first arrived, now he had killed at least twenty people and was in control of a large criminal organisation.

Scarlet: Microsoft?

And most probably a little crazy.

Scarlet: All together now…NEVER CALL HIM THAT WORD!

>"Baloo pull yourself together" she yelled in a stern voice.

Joe: (Becky) Wimp…it’s just a little mass destruction!

"We have to inform the police about this"

>"Why Becky? Why did he spare me? He had a gun

Scarlet: Sorry.

in my side and even pointed it into my face at one point, yet all he did was to knock me unconscious.

Joe: (sings) What’s the matter with kids to-day…ya ta ta ta da ta…

It doesn't make any sense."

Scarlet: Neither does anything in this lame fic!

>"I don't know and at the moment I don't care...no offence, but we have to tell someone."

>Now Baloo looked at her and slowly an evil look crossed his face.

Joe: (in Dr. Evil voice) You just don’t get it, do you Rebecca??

>"Lets go get the bastard."

(in announcer voice) They killed his bartender. Now, it’s personal…

>An hour later Baloo and Rebecca were

Katarina: Ug…(reaches for puke pail)

sitting in a waiting room of the central police station.

Joe: (Becky, chipperly) So, what’s new with you??

As Baloo had insisted with the cat on the desk, he wanted to speak only to the head of the bombing investigation they were now waiting for him to finish an important meeting.

Scarlet: (goes into convulsions) Run-on sentence! Lack of punctuation! AAAH!

Baloo looked around the room. It was small, but brightly lit from a single light on the ceiling. There were pictures of various officers [posing nude] on the wall receiving medals. He then turned his attention to the cat behind the desk. He was youngish, but as Baloo had noticed when he was talking to him he had no legs.

(cat) Yeah, just shut up, dipwad!

>"Probably why they gave him a desk job" he thought.

Joe: I’m laughing so hard right now it’s beyond description…

He was resisting the urge to

Joe: let some gas fly…

ask him how it had happened.

>Then a thought hit Baloo.

(Baloo): Ow!

>"What if they think I had something to do with it?" He whispered his sudden doubts to Rebecca who was reading a

Scarlet: trashy romance novel about Vikings

business magazine next to him. Luckily they were the only ones in the room apart from the cat, who was too far away to hear them.

>"Don't be silly Baloo" she said

Joe: (Becky) You can always make me laugh after people get blown up, ha ha!

in a hushed voice in reply "If you were involved then why would you be here now to tell the police?"

Scarlet: And why would you use so few commas?

>"I don't know"

>"You'll be fine"

Joe: But this dialogue is suffering!!! Aaaah!

>"Maybe, but I am the only witness to the fire as Kit had removed all the other pilots from the club." he said looking worried now. "I wish I had phoned

Scarlet: The Psychic Hotline

them now."

>Detective John Irvine finished

Scarlet: trimming his nose hairs

with the inspector

Joe: I do so love it when I connect with people as demented as myself…(shakes Scarlet’s hand)

and left for the front of the building. He had got the call while he was

Scarlet: on the john

talking to the inspector about how the investigation was coming. Now he had told him that he had new information which he had to see to. He was relived in a way

Joe: AAAH! I don’t want to know!

as the inspector was a very boring man to listen to,

Joe: much like this fic!

and he had been in his office for nearly a hour and a half being told how they had to catch

Scarlet: all the Pokémon!

the bomber.

>Irvine jogged

Scarlet: through a bad neighborhood and got mugged

down the stairs. He was a young detective, only been in the job for two years and regularly took exercise for what he kept telling his comrades

Katarina: They’re communists? What?

would happen.

>"Soon there will be the criminal uprising, and the city will have to fight a running street war with them."

Joe: Wasn’t this the plot to Robocop??

Of course no one ever believed him, until that bomb. It did not fit any of the patterns of

Joe: the fabric he had just bought to redecorate his office…

the other gangs in the city, or in the rest of Usland. He knew it had to be linked with the death of Don Karnarge,

Joe: Corner pocket?? What??

and his pirates, but how? He approached the front entrance and put out his paw to open the door.

Joe: Is it just me or is this getting more and more redundant??

>"How long is this fellow going to keep us waiting?" Baloo not yelled,

Joe: And Joe not amused…

but said loud enough for the cat at the desk to look up, annoyed that his work had been interrupted.

>"Detective Irvine said he would be down as soon as he

could. Please be patient." and returned to his

Joe: Can I escape with you guys?? Pleeeeeease??

paper work.

>Just as Baloo was about to have another moan

Ted: (gagging)

at anyone who would listen, considering there was only Rebecca and the cat around both of who were now ignoring him, a door opened and through stepped a young wolf wearing jeans and a white T-shirt.

Scarlet: Anyone related to the Karnages?

He looked around and approached Baloo. Holding out his paw he said "Mr. Baloo? I'm Detective Irvine. I belive

Scarlet: Hey, I like historical linguistics, okay? [sulks]

you have some

Scarlet: broccoli in your teeth.

information for me."

>Baloo shook his paw, but did not reply. In fact all he did was stare at the young wolf.

Katarina: You can live in that little world, sis.

He was fit, but not overly muscular.

Joe: Oh yeah.

He was about 5ft 10" in height.

Katarina: Hang on a second…oh my word. Ben used feet instead of meters! Maybe he’s remembered that the rest of us aren’t British after all!

Baloo finally managed to say something.

Scarlet: (Baloo) "Something."

>"I thought we were going to speak to the head of the investigation"

>"You are."

>"My, you've done well for a young man" said Rebecca

Joe: (Becky, in a stupid girly voice) I think you’re cute!…

>"Thanks, now if you don't mind why don't we go to my office to

Scarlet: shag, baby!

talk"

>With a [tidal] wave at the cat[amaran] Irvine led them back through the door he had just come through. They entered a wide corridor.

Joe: Wide enough to fit all the plot holes, yessiree!

They stopped in front of the lifts.

Katarina: I take back that comment about remembering that the rest of us aren’t British. (bangs head against the desk)

>"I apologise for the wait, the inspector does go on for longer than even he thinks sometimes."

Katarina: (singing) Do dee do do do Inspector Gadget, do dee do do do do…

>"Don't worry" replied Rebecca looking at Baloo "We didn't mind waiting"

Joe: (Becky, in same stupid voice) So, like…what do you like to do??

>The lift

Katarina: It’s elevator! ARG!

doors opened and they all stepped in.

Joe: Yaaay!

>Baloo tried to tell Irvine what he knew, but all he got was a finger thrust up

Scarlet: Er…

in front of his face and a stern look.

Scarlet: Phew.

It was enough to make Baloo

Joe: want to cry…He’s a sissy in this fic!

know when he should not be talking.

>A chime was heard in the lift and the doors opened.

Joe: What is this, Ally McBeal?? What other sound effects are going on there??

Irvine took a look both ways

Joe: Uh…burrito?

down the corridor then beckoned to Baloo and Rebecca to follow him. They walked in silence down the corridor, turned right and entered the second door on the left.

Scarlet: Meet the twins! Glxiiiiiblaaaaxtrlakxxipp and Bob!

>Irvine again checked the corridor, then closed the door. Baloo who was standing just behind him

Scarlet: stabbed him in the back, grabbed Rebecca’s wrist and ran like hell to get away from this terrible fanfic.

tapped him on the shoulder.

>"What's with all the secret stuff?"

Katarina: Secret stuff huh? (rummages in goodie bag)

>Irvine

(Tale)spun round and faced him

Joe: He was a ballroom dancer, too!

"Sorry about that, please"

Katarina: Ya, I always want people to apologize to me for saying "please" too.

Beck

Joe: Yes he is!

oning to two comfy looking chairs in front of his desk "Sit down and I will explain."

>They sat and Irvine

Joe: is kind of nice, but certain areas are really snobby and it’s kind of a wide area…others are kind of condensed. I wouldn’t want to live there…

walked around the back of his desk and opened the bottom right hand draw.

Katarina: (takes out sketchbook) Or maybe he meant "drawer"?

Taking out a thick folder, he laid it on the desk then started to speak.

Katarina: Play dead! Geez, I could make that stupid, overdone Grateful Dead joke here, but I’ll refrain.

>"I have been working on the case of capturing Don Karnarge since I became a police officer. Sergeant Williams at the front desk had both his legs shot off in a gun fight with him.

Scarlet: My querida rarely uses guns. Not his style, you see. But don’t let it worry you. No one else is in character, either.

He knew about that attack, so I suspect that there is a spy

Katarina: …in the ointment!

working for the air pirates in this building. That is why I kept you as low key

Katarina: C minor?

as possible. When news came in that Karnarge had been killed,

Joe: (pats Scarlet’s hand) There, there. Joe’ll make it all better. (revs up chainsaw loudly)

I could not belive my luck. We knew that the rest of the crew were held together by Karnarge's, how can I put it? Morale raising activities."

Joe: Usually involving hookers…they didn’t work.

>"Huh yeah, hitting them, killing people. Yeah I can imagine" added Baloo with a small laugh.

Ted: Here here!

>"However" continued Irvine "Since this new person took over, things have become

Scarlet: dumber?

....colder.

(Mr. Freeze) If I must suffer, the readers of this fic must suffer…

Karnarge never bombed us like that.

Joe: Yeah, he did! When he tried to loot Cape Suzette for a second time!

That was the work of an evil being.

Scarlet & Katarina: (Dr Evil Pinky Smirk)

Did you know that it contained [S: fake finger]nails?

Scarlet: [whistles innocently]

It wasn't designed to damage the buildings, it was designed to kill and injure people.

Scarlet: [pats Kat proudly on the back]

And we don't even know who replaced him.

Joe: Hmm….maybe it was Cody…(Kathie Lee’s son, not our Cody! ;D)

Anyway, what can I do for you? You said you had information for me."

Scarlet: (Irvine) Oh, yes, I do tend to ramble on about death and destruction, don’t I?

>Baloo paused so Rebecca elbowed him in the side and whispered "Tell him"

Scarlet: I just had to bitchslap someone!

>Baloo turned to her with an indignant expression on his face.

>"Well Detective"

Joe: (sings) They…love was their destiny…Oh, how could true love be…so…complicated??…

>"John please"

>"Well John,

Joe: (Becky) You can handcuff me, ANYtime….Rrrrow!

I know who replace Karnarge. I also know that he just killed Louie Lamount and his staff." Baloo said with

Scarlet: a tremendous belch.

surprisingly little emotion compared to how he felt

Ted: Yuk!

earlier.

>Irvine sat up like a bolt.

>"Wait, stop let me get this on tape" He opened one of his desk draws and got out a tape

Joe: of himself naked….that wasn’t it!

recorder. Placing the microphone in front of Baloo and turning the tape on he said "Please repeat that."

(Irvine) I meant what you said, you idiot!

>"I know who replaced Karnarge.

Joe: Sounds like something that grows on your teeth…

I also know that he killed him, planted that bomb and killed Louie Lamount and his staff."

"How do you know all this. Start with... wait did you say he killed Louie Lamount?"

Scarlet: (Irvine) I owed him money! Hooray!

>"Yeah, why?"

Joe: ‘Cause he needs to know who died, dumbass!!

>"This is the first I heard of it."

>"That's because I only just got back from his [Fantasy] Island to tell you."

>"What about the other pilots?" asked Rebecca.

Scarlet: And I think a few are booked on Springer…

>Baloo looked stunned "I don't know I thought they

Scarlet: had the sense to use commas.

came here....You don't think?"

Scarlet: No, she doesn’t.

he quickly turned to Rebecca.

>"No Baloo I don't. Tell the dectective about

Joe: (Becky) how wasted I am..

Louie"

(me) Explosion???

>"I was sitting in Louie's" began Baloo.

>"Thats where he spends most of his time, even when he is supposed to be working" added Rebecca.

Katarina: Is that self-MiSTing on Ben’s part?

>"He's.. he was my friend"

Joe: (Baloo) Errhh…friend….errrh….

Baloo added with a [Howard] stern voice.

>"Calm down you two. Now Baloo you were in Louie's" Irvine quickly intervened

Joe: No, that’s what we’re doing in this fic. It’s an intervention for a bad fanfic!

before a raging [Bull] argument started.

>"I was at the bar, talking with Louie. He seemed worried, so I asked him why. He said he had received some letter offering him

Joe: (Baloo) Er…I’ll just skip that part. But Big Inga isn’t shy, believe me…

insurance. It was signed K."

>"For Karnarge?" asked Irvine

Scarlet: No, for Klueless.

>"No. Anyway a young bear and two dogs enter. Didn't pay much attention to them until the bear asked Louie about insurance. I felt a gun at my side, so I didn't do anything.

Joe: Because they have water gun fights all the time, so he didn’t think anything of it…

Louie refused so the dogs fired around the bar. Killed another pilot named Jack

Scarlet: Skellington? Dawson? Nicholson? Sprat? And Jill?

. Louie still said no."

>"Brave man" said Irvine with a slight nod of his head.

>"Yeah he was" agreed Baloo "anyway,

(Irvine) I’m so sorry!

I asked who the bear was. He knew me. About seven years ago I took in a cub of about 11 or 12. He had run away form Karnarge."

Scarlet: Form Karnarge? Is that what the Thembrians have you fill out before they execute you for bad spelling?

>"The one which helped us to defeat the lighting gun?" Irvine asked with some amazement.

>"Yeah him. It was him. Kit Cloudkicker. He did it. He told me."

Katarina: Stool pigeon is the term, I believe. And "narc" sounds like something Pinky would say.

>"But if he ran away from Karnarge, how did he end up back there?"

Joe: (holds Ted’s mouth shut as he frantically tries to say something)

asked Rebecca who had been listening in a stunned silence.

>"He said after the pirates were defeated some found him and took him back to Karnarge who nearly beat him to death.

Scarlet & Ted: (Dr. Evil) Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

He then started to teach him stuff.

Joe: Like how to play lacrosse, how to tap dance to Irish music, how to make bird calls….

Kit said he wanted revenge on Karnarge."

Joe: Whoever the hell THAT is…

>"Well he got that"

>"Then on the people who hurt him when he was a street kid."

Joe: I hope he goes after bad fanfic authors next…

>"The bomb"

Katarina: This fic certainly isn’t "da bomb". Word.

agreed Irvine "he seems to want to hurt society in general, but

Joe: Okay, that could describe a LOT of teenagers…you have to narrow it down…

what happened to Louie?"

>Baloo lowered his head, and shook it.

Joe: Several bugs flew out.

>"I'm not a heartless brute, I imagine this is hard, but we need to know so that we can prosecute."

Scarlet:  Prostitute?

>"When Louie refused" Baloo said, still not raising his head, so Irvine got Rebecca to

Joe: prop his head up and move his squish his face as he talked…

move the microphone down

Katarina: Eew. But…Baloo doesn’t wear pants! Darn logic! :P

to his mouth.

>"Kit didn't seem to get mad.

Joe: Just even!

He got his men to tie Louie and all his staff in the centre of the club.

Joe: You already described this part!!!

Kit then took all the money from the till

Katarina: Yes, but I think he means it in the sense of "cash register". That’s what we call them at (shuddering) McDonald’s. (takes more pills to calm herself)

and Louie's office. Then poured petrol onto his captives and around the club. I was led outside at gun point. Next thing I know Kit ran towards me with the club bursting into flames.

Katarina: Heh heh…Fire! Fire! Heh heh…

I heard

Katarina: (shakes head)

them screaming." Baloo started to weep.

Joe: Geez, what is he, Sally Field??

Then jumping forward grabbed Irvine by his T-shirt and pulled him close and looked deep into his eyes.

Joe: (Cinnamon Teal from Ducktales) Look DEEEP into my eyes…

>"He let me live. Don't know why, but all he did was knock me out cold. I buried them all when I woke.

Joe: (Baloo) And boy are my arms tired! (beats a cymbal)

Tell me you will catch the son of a bitch,

Joe: (South Park mom) Blame England! Blame England!

put him in gaol and throw away

Scarlet: all copies of this fic.

the key."

Katarina: I think that Ben should be locked up for writing this tripe.

>Irvine remove Baloo's paws

Scarlet: Ow!

and sat back down, exhaling loudly.

>"I will do my best"

>Rebecca eyed Irvine,

Katarina: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

he still seemed shocked by Baloo's outburst,

Katarina: It was those dang burritos again.

but he was clearly thinking of something. Whether it was something to say to them, or a plan to arrest Kit she did not know. Eventually Irvine sat forward and opened the file on the desk, and flicked through it.

>"Baloo, we all knew what Don Karnarge looked like,

Scarlet: (dreamy sigh) Hey, waitaminute, don’t use past tense with my querida!

but what does Mr. Cloudkicker look like these days?" He turned the folder round to face Baloo.

>"We have a picture of him here when he was about 10 aboard the Iron Vulture.

Joe: Uh, math check! If he was twelve when he joined Baloo and he was only with them a year, then he was 11 at the most!

He must be now what 18? 19?"

Katarina: 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25…

>Baloo and Rebecca looked at the picture. It showed Kit how they both remembered him, wearing his green sweater. He was leaning over the rail of a platform smiling towards the camera.

Joe: (Kit) I’M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Over his right shoulder in the cargo bay Karnage was yelling at a member of his crew.

>"How did you get this picture?" Baloo asked.

Scarlet: Gaping plot hole, of course.

"He looks so innocent"

Joe: (Becky) He’s killed dozens but Awwwwwwwwwwww….

>"From a spy" Irvine said taking the folder back and looking at the picture. "We managed to get him aboard, after talking to Karnarge he convinced him that a great pirate would have pictures of his greatest moments.

Scarlet: Huh? But LOL!

Being the egocentric that he was Karnarge

Scarlet: Okay, I’m only arguing over the past tense usage, here. J

agreed so it was safe for him to carry a camera. We got a copy of all the pictures he took for evidence. He took this one as I think he felt sorry for the kid. However he had an arrest warrent issuesd for him, for

Scarlet: failing to run a spellcheck…

taking part in about 5 pirate raids. After the lighting gun all charges were to be dropped. Now it seems we have more to add."

>"What happened to him?" asked Rebecca

Joe: Oh, he’s just been unrealistically altered by the author, that’s all…

not really wanting to know the answer.

Joe: Well, then why ask it?? Geez, this fic is full of contradictions!

>"Karnarge found out and threw him off the Vulture" Irvine said with a sigh.

Joe: DUH…

>"Tough break" said Baloo.

>"Yes, well" Irvine got up and extended his paw "if he contacts you or if you have any more information you think you can give me get in touch"

>Baloo shock his paw

Scarlet: with a hand buzzer

and Rebecca accepted his card.

(Irvine) Woops! Wrong card!

Irvine then again checked the corridor before leading them out of the building.

>Aboard the Iron Vulture a meeting was taking place.

Katarina: And Dumptruck’s fingers got caught in the little cups’ handles. Or would that be a tea party? J

>"So you see my friends in order to accomplish our mission we need more funds."

Joe: And stock portfolios…and novelty items! Don’t forget those…

>"Uh Captain" Mad Dog put up his paw.

>"What" sighed Kit. Kit unlike Karnarge did not dress in fancy clothes. He was wearing military combats and a black beret.

Katarina: You said, "French". Heh heh, heh heh…

So was most of his men. He had turned them from a band of moronic pirates into a

Katarina: …troupe of evil circus clowns.

respectable para-military force.

Joe: Me too.

>"Where will we get this extra cash from?"

Scarlet: Sell your old stuff on eBay!

>Kit shuddered. He had been describing that for the last ten minutes. Now he began to regret keeping Mad Dog and Dumptruck alive, but he felt sorry for them being so stupid.

Scarlet: Well…yeah.

>"Anyone want to enlighten him before I through him over board?"

Scarlet: THROW! THROW! As in, your grammar makes me want to throw up!

>As a more enlightened member of his crew began to recite the

Joe: texts of Tibetan Buddhism…

plan again Kit got lost for a moment in his own thoughts. Yes he would need more money. He had all the weapons he needed. Good modern weapons, but he needed more men.

Katarina: Spoilsport.

That was hard. He needed to win them over with money. When the explanation was finished Kit lent

Scarlet: his soul to a bad fanfic writer

forward and lowered his voice.

>"Do not do anything until he is spotted. Till then keep the vulture near the main

Joe: entrance of the zoo…

cargo routes."

>With that he walked out of the briefing room and over towards Karnages old quarters.

Joe: Which weren’t worth much…why didn’t he sell them?? I’ll never see the attraction to coin collecting…

His quarters he corrected himself.

Scarlet: I’ll correct the angle of your neck about 180 degrees, you little snotball!

>Since he had taken over he made several changes to Karnage's quarters. The lavish decorations were removed as well as all his portraits of how wonderful he was.

Joe: (laughing inappropriately)

Kit had changes it to something comfortable, yet modest.

Katarina: And the gold-plated furniture…

He had no real desire to keep any wealth he acquired, just to use it to further his aims.

Joe: To make a cookie factory….

>After entering he closed and locked the door. Striding over to where his flight jacket was hanging

Katarina: I’d like to hang Ben…

he took out a worn and tattered newspaper clipping. Carefully unfolding it to reveal a picture of himself and Baloo with the headline underneath

Scarlet: "WOMAN FINDS ALIEN PROBE IN HER DISHWASHER; FEDS STUNNED!"

:-Hero boy and pilot save city from pirates.

>Baloo. He still missed him. A tear formed in his eye.

Joe: Yes, he’d missed him, he’d get him next time!! (Claw laugh)

"I could have been happy there" he thought

>"I will not hurt you, Wildcat, Becky or Molly unless I have to" he whispered.

Joe: Someone really has to write a fic where *she* gets throws off the Vulture…

"I wish I could go back, but I'm

Scarlet: trapped in a bad fanfic

in it too far now. Have been for the last seven years. No must be strong."

>As he composed himself an evil grin

Scarlet & Katarina: (yet another Dr Evil Pinky Smirk)

then swept over his face. "However when the time is right my revenge will be sweet and they will be sorry."

Katarina: (gets weird mental image of Kit as a Gargoyle)

>With that he folded the paper again and laid out on his stomach on the bunk. Picking up a news paper he read the leading article. It was about the bomb and gave statistics about

Scarlet: the gestation period of ostriches.

the casualties. A warm feeling flowed through his viens.

>"Going to have to plant more

Scarlet: lilac bushes in the back yard.

of those to soften up the population a bit" he thought.

Joe: You could always flood the markets with really fattening foods…

>That he knew was not going to be any trouble. He had plenty of explosives and the ways to get it into the city. However he was still short

Scarlet: Just wear big shoes, and maybe no one will notice.

of men. Hopefully that would soon no longer be a problem.

A quick scan through of the

Joe: fic showed that it still sucked!

paper showed that there was little else of interest, so he discarded it, Kit continued to lay on his bunk. He closed his eyes.

Scarlet: Yay!

>Eight years ago.

Scarlet: this fic hadn’t been written, and the world was a better place.

"Hey Baloo" Kit yelled up the stairs

"Yeah Li'l Britches" came a sleepy reply.

"What paper do you want this morning"

Joe: Fetch the paper, Kit! Go get it, boy!

"Any one as long as I get it before Miz Manager shows up.

>Kit left Higher for Higher,

Scarlet: Evil typo! [slaps self]

and headed for the nearest newsagents. It was only a ten minute walk, and gave the young cub some time to think.

Joe: (Kit) Kibbles n’ bits n’ bits n’ bits… Oh, sorry…

>"Is this finally it Cloudkicker?" he asked himself "Are you ready to settle down, have a family.

Joe: A family at THAT age??? He was only 12!!!

How do you know he will keep you? Will he always be nice to you?" He walked on a few minutes thinking about anything but that last question.

>"Miz Cunningham seems nice though" he added with a nod of his head "Maybe she will be like my Mother?" That though froze him in his tracks.

Joe: Then he realized he had just stepped in gum…

>"Wow, a mother.

Joe: [bleep] bad fic…I hate these things!

Molly could be like my sister and Baloo, Baloo

Joe: (rolls eyes)

could be like my father. I would have a family." That really cheered him up and as he entered the shop he was whistling Zip Ba De Do Da.

Joe: Uh…AACK!

>He chose a copy of the Cape Suzette Cronicle for Baloo and a copy of [Hot]Aeroplane [Chicks] for himself.

>"That will be $1.30" the keeper said

Katarina: $1.30 for a newspaper in the Thirties? I think not.

and as Kit paid him noticed for once he felt at ease, not only with himself, but also with the world.

Katarina: (singing) Everything Zen, everything Zen? I don’t think so…

>As he left the shop he felt a hand go around his mouth and another twist his arm nearly out of its socket. A voice wisphered

Katarina: Wisphered?

into his left ear.

Scarlet: (hooker) Hey, baby, want to have a lil’ fun?

>"Do what I tell you and your arm stays attached"

Katarina: Um…ew.

>Kit nodded.

>"Walk to the car and get in"

>Kit saw a black car to his left, so he walked towards it and opened the back door. At once a powerful hand grabbed him

Scarlet: Like I told you, our brains are linked!

around the throat and started to squeese,

Katarina: Are those related to geese?

as Kit gasped for air he look at the owner of the hand.

Scarlet: Muhammad Ali!

Dumptruck. With that last sight Kit fell unconscious.

>Kit had heard that laughter before. A high pitched laughter with a spanish accent.

Joe: It was Rosie Perez! Oh no, wait…

He opened his eyes and looked up. He was laying on metal and could feel a chain around his right ankle. He was in the hanger of the Iron Vulture.

Joe: They must have really big closets for a hanger THAT size!

Standing over him was Karnarge.

>"So my boy I have you again, yes no?"

>Kit hated that yes, no thing but didn't say anything.

Scarlet: Well, I think it’s cute. So there. Nyah.

>"You seem to be of the silent type today, don't you. Well thats okay dokey with me, but lets see how long it is until you make a sound shall we?"

Joe: (Karnage) Staring contest!!!

>With that last comment Karnage kicked Kit hard in the stomach nocking the wind out of him. Kit gasped

Scarlet: at the author’s terrible spelling

for breath as Karnage picked him up by this throat until his feet were of the deck.

Joe: When did Karnage turn into Freeza from Dragonball???

>"Oh dear, you can't breath within my grasp can you? Better fix that"

Joe: It is Freeza!!! Wow!!!

and punched him in the face and throwing him to the floor.

Scarlet: By all means. Anyone got Ben’s address?

>"You wasted me a fortune which I could have got in Cape Suzette, so I will now beat it out of you."

Joe: Along with all the country music songs you like to sing!

>With that last statement he fully attacked him and kicked in his ribs, Kit felt some of the crack.

Katarina: Crack? (rummages in goodie bag)

He scream in pain, but the beating kept on coming.

Scarlet: Hey, I like to be prepared.

For almost ten minutes he was beaten, until

Joe: Scarlet found Ben. Then…well…(makes violent crashing and ‘getting punched’ noises)

Karnage suddenly stopped.

>"You know what would work well?" he asked Kit as he bent down near him, then suddenly running off. Kit spat

Scarlet: on the fic

blood out of his mouth as he saw [St.] Karnarge [sounds like a dog!] running back with a rifle.

Scarlet: (singing) Bing ba da ding bada ding bada ding Bo-nan-zaaaaaa!

>As best he could Kit got to his feet and looked Karnage in the eye, through the one he could open and said "Go on then. I don't care anymore. It will be a blessing."

Joe: for this fic to end…

>"Oh no. This is not to kill you with.

Scarlet: No, of course not. Then the fic might actually END!

Its to beat you with" and hit him in the stomach with the butt.

Joe: Fortunately, it was just a stunt double…There, everything is better now!

>Karnage then drew his sword and slit it through Kit's sweater in a diagonal cut across his chest. Blood flowed.

Ted: (is heard screaming horribly all the way from Ventura)

Kit felt his life slipping away as Karnage picked up his head and banged it hard against the deck.

Joe: Sounds like a scene from a Jackie Chan movie. Ben really likes movies, doesn’t he??:D

The world suddenly

Scarlet: made absolutely no sense!

went black.

>When he next woke up Kit reconised he was in the medical room of the Vulture.

Joe: Dr. Crusher would not be happy with the comparison…

No one was around. Slowly he got out of the bed and walked over to a mirror on the wall. He looked at his naked body

Joe: (trying to help) You don’t come off as sounding like a nymphomaniac…

with the bruises, and the huge gash on his chest from Karnage's sword, when deep down inside him something snapped.

Joe: I think Ben snapped when he wrote this!

Nothing good ever happened in the world, only bad things.

Joe: Well…maybe on CBS…

He swore then he would get even. With a last look at his face he got back into bed, a new found purpose in his life and waited to heal.

>Present day.

Kit wioke

Scarlet: Is that a Hawaiian word?

with a start. That was the first time he had, had that dream in a long time.  It took a moment for him to catch his breath back. Laying in the darkness of his cabin, he let hi mind wander. Suddenly he had an idea.

>"Why didn't I think of this before?" he thought "I can kill

Scarlet: Ben for writing this fic? Please?

two birds with one stone."

>With that he got off his bunk and went to find Mad Dog, Dumptruck and a few others.

>"We need to go in full combat gear" Kit thought as he left his quarters at a run.

Joe: Full combat gear?? Eennnh! Wrong! They’re pirates….pirates, pirates, pirates! How many times must I tell you! He is not Buffy the frikkin Vampire Slayer!!

>Soon a single plane left The Iron Vulture carrying Kit Cloudkicker and 10 of his best men,

Joe: I think Ben has his own "goody bag"…

heading for mainland Usland, to a city know as San Flamingo. Now he would get a huge bit of revenge.

Joe: Probably a British thing…

>The building looked exactly like Kit remembered it. San Flamingo orphanage. He looked through his binoculars at the entrance. Two armed guards stood at the top of the steps leading to the main entrance.

>"Guarded."

Scarlet: To stop people from breaking in and stealing the kids’ valuable Pokemon cards, of course!

he said to Mad Dog "Security has got tighter since I left here."

Joe: (writhes around on the floor in pain, covering head and moaning)

>Indeed it had. Since Kit left nearly ten years earlier, several other orphans had escaped as well. This cost the state a great deal of money to track down. However they found it was cheaper to have armed guards, guard the orphans. If one tried to escape and was killed, one less mouth to feed was the general idea.

Joe: Oh. Well, there’s our carefully thought out explanation…(rolls eyes) Where is this orphanage, Oceania??

>"Kill the guards in the grounds quietly, then move to the main entrance. We will not have much time before word gets out

Katarina:…about how bad this fic is!

and the police or army will turn up. What I don't want is

Scarlet: for this fic to go on much longer.

a hostage situation, Clear."

Scarlet: No, they’re opaque.

>"Yes sir" was his reply.

>"Okay go to work. I'll take the two by the main entrance." Kit replied drawing

Scarlet: Rose naked in her stateroom.

his knife.

Joe: Okay, these are officially the dumbest couple of paragraphs I have seen in a Benfic…

>Kit crept through the undergrowth on his belly

Katarina: Growth on his belly? Ug. Maybe he should see a doctor. From the frickin’ Iron Vulture’s medical room! Geesh!

as far as he could get. This would be the hard part. A 90 metre

Katarina: Ah. So now Ben’s decided to use metric measurements. (Bangs head against the desk)

run with no cover to get next to the main building. Kit looked at the guards. Both were looking in his direction.

>"Had I made to much noise? Getting sloppy Cloudkicker" he told himself.

Joe: This whole fic is slop.

>After a few seconds they turned to each other and lit a fag each.

Joe: AAAAAAAH!!!!! That’s British for tobacco, by the way… Ben, do NOT use that word over here….(wink)

Kit ran to the wall. No sound from the guards that could indicate he had been heard.

>"Good" Kit thought.

>He slowly edged towards the pair, crawling on his belly again until he was almost underneath them.

>Crouching, next to the steps he moved his knife close to his chest.

Joe: Jean Claude Van Kit…Yeesh.

>"One, Two, Three" he counted in his head.

Katarina: (high fives Scarlet)

>On three he jumped up, swung the knife into the chest of the first guard while kicking the other in the throat with his right foot. He fell backwards, but the first guard was still alive. Kit looked at him. Blood was trickling out of his mouth, he looked scared.

Joe: Thank you.

Kit pulled the knife out and slit his throat. Gently

Scarlet: LOL!

Kit lowered the body and went to investigate the second guard. He was still alive, and as Kit approached put his hands over his head.

>"I give up" he whispered "Please, don't hurt me"

>Kit looked at his bloodied knife and

Joe: It stands for the Outstanding Jaguar flop that is this fic…

grinned at the terrified guard.

Joe: I was wrong. THIS gets the award for most pointless scene!

Slowly he walked behind him, grabbed his hair and pulled backwards. This nicely exposed the man's throat.

>"Please, I have a wife and a young daughter

Scarlet: locked up in my basement!

" he stammered out.

>"Well at least your daughter won't end up in hear then"

Scarlet: HERE! Not hear, you grammatically-challenged moron!

Kit whispered into his ear and slowly slit his throat.

Joe: Well, now that isn’t right. (pauses) Unless maybe it was John Stamos…

>With a gurgle the guard fell forward. Kit used the guard's uniform to clean the blood off his knife,

Scarlet: Is this a bad fanfic I see before me! Out, out, damn fic!

then checking the coast was clear,

Katarina: I’d say it’s opaque, but that joke’s been made already.

moved the two bodies out of sight.

Katarina: (stoned voice) Whoa, man! Out of sight! Groovy!

>Kit stayed by the entrance listening.

Katarina: … to the polka band in the kitchen.

If he remembered correctly then all the children showed be in the main hall at this time. He checked his watch, yes it was 1pm, lunchtime.

Scarlet: I’ve got a coupon for Country Kitchen…

A noise to his left brought his gun level with Mad Dog's face. The rest of the pirates were behind him.

>"Hey watch it"

Scarlet: [everyone stares at the gun]

>Kit shouldered his gun as Mad Dog pulled up a young leopard cub. He was crying.

Joe: because this fic was so horrible…

>"You said kill only the guards, and well we did not know

Joe: Is that a….comma I see?? Wow!

what you wanted to do with him. So we thought we would let you decide."

>Kit bent down so he was at the same level as the cub. Putting a finger

Joe: (holds up a finger of his own at the fic)

under his chin he gently forced the cub to look up. Kit saw himself in the eyes which met him.

Joe: Is that stupid idol in this fic??

A cold shudder went through his body as he gently wiped away a tear of the cub's face.

>"Who are you?"

Joe: Olivah, sirh!

>"Matthew, sir"

>"Matthew who?"

Scarlet: Matthew Lauer, the host of the Today Show on NBC!

>"Matthew Ruttle, sir"

Katarina: Ruttle? Well, Ben is a Monty Python fan. He’s got at least one good thing going for him.

>"What were you doing in the grounds during lunchtime?"

(Kit) Hey, I like this kid!

>"I was trying to get out, sir"

>"Why?"

>"I don't like it here, sir"

>Again Kit's body shuddered.

Scarlet: Please please please please?

>"Kid, Matt, do you mind if I call you Matt?"

Scarlet: (as Matt) Yes. Please call me Francis instead.

>"No, sir. Sir please don't put me back in there."

Scarlet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

>"Matt, stop calling me sir, and no I am not going to put you back in, I'm taking all of you out."

Katarina: Taking them all out? What? He’s going to kill them? Not that that’d be a surprise in this fic…

>Matt stopped crying and his face broke into a big grin.

Joe: Cause he was about to die and escape this fanfic…yay!

>"Really, sir...sorry, you mean it."

>Kit extended a paw.

>"Kit Cloudkicker"

>Matt shook his paw happily. Kit then introduced him to the rest of his band.

Ted: Sounds like a name from a metal band…

>"Now Matt, where will the rest of the guards be?"

>"Are you going to kill them?"

Joe: LOL!

>"Umm"

>"I saw you kill two of them" pointing to Mad Dog. "Good riddance I say. They used to beat all of use, if you are going to kill them can I kill one?"

Scarlet: [Anime sweatdrop] Apparently not.

he asked turning to Kit with pleading eyes.

>"Maybe" but privately Kit was getting rather fond of this young man.

Joe: Because he was a little psycho! Eee! Eee! Eee! Eee!

>"Well, they usually all gather in the lunch hall, to beat us if we don't eat all the food."

Katarina: Hot Pockets…mmm.

he bent forward to reveal the back of his neck "See"

>Kit looked and saw a bruise which from his well beaten body had often seen. It was made from a gun butt.

Joe: In an orphanage. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah…

>"Right, Matt stay close to me okay. Mad Dog take four men and scout out the building. The rest of you follow me to the lunch [Kids in the ] hall [was a really funny show!]."

>"Right"

>"Hey, kid" one of Kit's men whispered.

>"Yeah"

Gidget: I guess the Initiate just got bored…

>"Take it you didn't have any lunch then"

>Matt shook his head.

>"Here you go then. I was saving it till later, but you can have it." and passed him a

Joe: severed arm…

chocolate bar.

Scarlet: Same difference.

>Kit nodded when Matt look at him with an expression which to Kit's mind asked "Can I?"

Joe: How touching. No, really I’m touched! In my stomach…

>After splitting up Kit found himself

Joe: hitting singles bars…

at then lunch hall doors. They were closed but had windows in them. Walking between the children were

Joe: Spitting ill-tempered iguanas with laser beams attached to their heads…

five guards. On a raised platform at the end of the hall was another table, sitting in it was none other than Miss. Stpinkski.

Joe: Geusendheit!

>Ten years ago.

>Wack.

>Wack.

>Wack.

Katarina: Maybe they’re supposed to be ducks?

>"I don't like you Mr. Cloudkicker."

>Wack.

>"How will you ever get adopted when you keep on running off?"

>Wack.

>"You are scum."

>Wack.

Joe: To the IRA for the comparison? You’re probably right…

>"You will die in a gutter where you belong"

Joe: Sounds like a country song…

>Wack.

>"You are stupid, lazy, ugly and smelly"

Scarlet: (with big, innocent eyes) Who, me?

>Wack.

>"Why do I have to put up with you?"

>Wack.

Joe: (Wacko Warner) Because I’ve got a contract?? (takes out a mallet and hits the speaker)

>"Don't let me catch you at the air field again. GOT IT?"

>Wack.

Scarlet: Okay, okay. I deserved that.

Present day.

Katarina: Oh goody! Christmas!

>Kit squatted and

Scarlet: (plugs her nose)

pulled Matt closer.

>"Miss Stpinkski is still alive?"

Scarlet: Geshundheit!

>"Yeah, you know her?"

Scarlet: (as Matt) Yeah! I slept with her!

>"I was formerly a guest here, but like you I kept trying to escape. She hated me."

>"She hates every one" Matt added.

Joe: Maybe Kathie Lee changed her name…hmm.

>"This will be fun" Kit stood again and beckoned to his troops as Mad Dog rejoined them.

>"That's all of them sir" he reported.

>"Right, Mad Dog go

Scarlet: take a bath! Peeeeeyew!

for the one on the left. Matt" passing him a pistol

Joe: who was *not* happy to be away from Spoonerville…

"Have you ever used one of these?"

>"No. Can I kill a guard?"

>"No. If you had a little training you could, but that is for self defence okay?"

>"Yeah" he sounded sad, then he had an idea "Could you train me?"

Joe: (bangs his head against a wall)

>The question hit Kit like a tonne of [medieval spellings hitting him] bricks. "Ask me later" he got out after a pregnant pause.

Joe: (pauses pregnantly himself) Oh, okay. I thought he must have meant "present" or another spelling error…

>Miss. Stpinkski

Katarina: Gesundheit!

looked

Scarlet: for a good lawyer who could help her legally change her name.

across the table at the reporter and photographer from Usland Today.

>"As you can see" she gestured across the floor "Myself and the other staff watch the children while they

Scarlet: take baths.

eat from up here. This way we get a better look of what's going on."

>The reporter was bored.

Scarlet: That makes several of us.

How did he get this story. Then a question came to mind.

>"If you are doing such a good job, why do you have the guards?"

>"Well, umm, they are in here to make sure that..." she didn't get any further.

The hall doors bust open and there were several bursts of machine gun fire.

Joe: And vampires. Don’t forget about vampires.

The reporter nudged the photographer who was already taking pictures of the bodies, and the bear who seamed to be

Scarlet: a tailor.

the leader of the group. He quickly finished the film, took it out and put it in his trouser pocket, placing a new film into the camera.

Scarlet: Is that a roll of condemning film in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

>Kit looked around him. He was standing in the centre of the room, in front of Miss. Stpinkski.

Scarlet: Geshundheit!

He was glad the rabbit

Scarlet: was in Watership Down, far away from this horrible fic.

looked scared beyond her wits. Slowly she got to her feet.

>"Who are you? What do you want?" she asked.

Joe: That’s my line! Oh well…(fluffs his pillow and snoozes)

>The children began to murmur. A quick glance around the room by Kit silenced them all. Then slowly walked towards the raised table.

>"Who am I Miss. Stpinkski?

Katarina: Gesundheit!

That's a good question. Guess

Scarlet: is a highly-overrated brand of clothing.

. Wait, I'll give you a clue" Kit replied calmly.

Joe: Ah. Something Ben needs…

The adrenalin was flowing through his veins.

>"I am a former

Joe: Tsk, tsk, tsk. No.

guest here."

>She shook her head.

>"You used to beat me

Scarlet: at Chutes and Ladders!

for trying to escape"

>She still shook her head.

>"I swore revenge against you ten years ago."

Joe: The Kit of Monte Cristo…

>Nothing

Scarlet: could salvage this fic now.

. Kit was now standing directly opposite her across the table. He leaned forward, putting his paws in front of her.

>"My last name is Cloudkicker"

>Her eyes widened in horror. "Kit is that you?" she trembled out.

Katarina: Duh…

>The photographer nudged the reported and whispered "Its him. The one all the

Scarlet: girls just adore! Not.

feds are after"

>"Are you going to hurt her?" one of the children asked suddenly "She beat me this morning

Scarlet: at checkers!

for being late to breakfast."

>Kit turned his head

Scarlet: into a giant avocado using a magic spell. Which would make about as much sense as the rest of this atrocious fic.

towards the girl, and did not see the carving knife that

Scarlet: was used to cut the tails off the Three Blind Mice.

Miss. Stpinkski

Katarina: Gesundheit!

picked up and hid on her knee.

>Turning slowly back towards her he said "No, I'm going to kill her"

>With that she jumped up and slashed Kit from above his right eye, across his muzzle, to his left cheek. He recoiled and gave out a yell of pain, shot forward and disarmed Miss. Stpinkski.

Joe: (spitting to get the taste of bad fic from his mouth) Ptui! Ptui!

>At that opportunity the rest of the staff decided to make

Scarlet: finger puppets using nothing but construction paper and glitter glue!

a run for it. They didn't get very far. They

Joe: The Christmas trees, that is…

were all cut down by Kit's men. However the two reporters managed to get out.

>"Good work" Kit said to them dripping blood onto the floor from his face.

Joe: I said it before, I’ll say it again. Ben, you watch too many dang action movies…

He turned to his captive.

>"What are you going to do to me?" she asked him obviously scared yet trying to maintain composure.

Scarlet: (as Kit) Oh, just some random mayhem and violence.

>"Glad you asked" he replied as he threw her to the ground.

Joe: He’s going to feed you to that giant sand monster of Jabba the Hut’s.

She landed next to one of the dead guards and locked up

Scarlet: Ben in a padded cell

to see Matt standing over her with a pistol. Kit walked over to her and started kicking her.

>"This is for the first time you beat me, then the second, third" he said between kicks.

Joe: (coughs) *Benneedstherapy*

>He stopped for a moment and turned to the children.

>"Anyone else want to have a go?"

Joe: Go go boots?? What??

>Matt was the first one to kick her, then several others got up and joined in.

Joe: Kit Cloudkicker in: Shirley Jackson’s "The Lottery"!!

Eventually Kit raised his hand and they stopped. He bent over and picked up her head.

Scarlet: He kicked her head right off! Gruesome!!!

>"Had enough now?" he asked her. No reply, she just looked at him with terror.

>"I'll take that as a yes then shall I?" he said as he as he got out a piece of wire with two handles at each end.

>"This is for making my life and may others a misery" he whispered into her ear before he strangled her. He felt her go limp and knew

Joe: Woop, woop, woop! English major humor!!!

she was gone. He picked up her body and sat it back in to her chair. Kit was now on such a high

Katarina: …that he’d used up his whole stash, and had to go find Wildcat to get some more…

, he never wanted to come down.

Scarlet: (resumes bashing her head against the wall)

>"Right children" he said to them "I have a proposition to make to you.

Joe: Tsk, tsk. No. He’s trying to get political and end some proposition.

You can stay here and wait for someone to come and take you to another orphanage.

(kids) Yaaaaaay!!!

You can make a run for it, or you can come with me and learn how to fight

Joe: Giant intelligent man-eating pigeons.

back."

>Matt came and stood in front of Kit and said "I'm going with them" a drop of blood from Kit's wound landed on top of his head and ran down his face. It looked like he was crying blood.

Scarlet: Okaaaaaaaaaay. As if this fic wasn’t disturbing enough already…

>The majority of the children decided to

Gidget: I got the Nair and lemon juice!!

stay. About twenty made a run for it and the ten who also kicked Miss Stpinkski

Katarina: Gesundheit!

chose to come with Kit.

Scarlet: [too disillusioned to bitchslap Kat]

>"So be it"

Katarina: You remembered! (hugs Scarlet)

he said to them.

>He had one last look around, then left with his new recruits.

>To be continued.......

 Scarlet: PLEASE don’t. Please. Please please please don’t. (bashes head against wall some more)

GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!!!

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