Till Death We Do Part
Kat: Whose death? Ours? X_X
By B G
Kat: The Bee Gees? They’re so cool! :-D
Gidget: Those sexy voices…
Author’s Note:-
Kat: A dash or a colon? Can’t decide? Be like Ben! Use both!
Scarlet: A dash of colon will spice up any cannibal’s recipe…
Kat: Goody. I had hoped to avoid having to vomit in this fic. Thanks ever so much, sis. :-P
Scarlet: Is that why you’re typing in green? ^_^ *gets out umbrella*
Gidget: Oh, yummers… >_<
Basically I don’t own any of the characters used in this fic from Talespin.
Scarlet: I do! I own their souls! Mwahahaha! [other MiSTers slowly edge away from Scarlet with frightened looks]
The Walt Disney Company does. So don’t sue me, you won’t get much as I have little money being the poor student that I am.
Kat: Is that "poor student" remark a reference to his financial status or to his abilities? *cymbal clang*
Scarlet: It would be terrible if it were both. Because then he couldn’t afford to bribe his professors!
Also any other characters that appear in this fic that don’t belong to anyone else are mine, feel free to use them, but to be honest I probably haven’t thought them through very well so they will end up messing up your plot, or killing someone.
Scarlet: LOL! I *do* love original disclaimers. J
It had to happen sooner or later mainly due to the sheer incompetence and moronisum (a new word totally invented by the police force to describe the Iron Vultures crew),
Joe: Is that like a Roman ampitheater specifically for morons?
Scarlet: LOL!
Kat: *gets out Goodie Bag ™* I get the feeling I’ll be needing this…
Scarlet: When don’t you? And will you share?
Kat: We’ll see how benevolent I’m feeling today…
Gidget: Is that anything like Miranda’s ‘goody drawer’? (Sex in the City ref)
the Iron Vulture was shot down, the band of air pirates was disbanded,
Kat: Yuk, yuk, yuk…
Scarlet: I’m not sure if I’d grant that line the honor of being called a pun, per se…
either with many of them going into
Scarlet: --the circus, mental hospitals, the priesthood, cannibals’ stewpots…
Gidget: --politics, Weight Watchers, the Playboy Mansion, cyberfreezing chambers…
Kat: --the sock-darning industry, dentistry, used car sales…
hiding, being arrested and sent to gaol or dead.
Scarlet: I know, I know, the British thing, but that word always looks so weird… o_0
Gidget: Reminds me of ‘ghoul’.
Kat: Ben *is* a ghoul :-P
Their leader, Don Karnage now was on the run with a death penalty over his head, put there curtsey of a
Joe: band of square dancing bounty hunters.
Scarlet: [With hick accent] Curtsey to ya’ partner, swing t’ thuh left, alleman left, toe to toe…
Kat: You scare me. *pops a pill* Ah, my fear is fading…
trial in his absence. There was finally peace in the skies.
Scarlet: Well, except for the roc that kept eating small planes…
A lone man sat at a desk in the law section of Cape Suzette public library.
Scarlet: (as herself in RL) Excuse me, can I shelve anything for you? :-p
No one really paid much attention to him as there was no one else in the room, but if there was, they would be trying to get themselves out of whatever ugly mess they were in with the law and not staring around at who else was in there with them.
Scarlet: This exploration of the human psyche brought to you by…Ben! *applauds*
Gidget: I can see! I can see!
Kat: Not for long. Ben’s writing tends to make people put out their eyes…
It was in fact Don Karnage,
Scarlet: Oooh, DK in the library? Can I drag him back to the rare books room and show him where Dewey Decimal number 69 is? }-) (Librarian humor…nyuk nyuk)
Kat: You’re a bad girl, you know that? ;)
Scarlet: I know. *g* I pride myself in it, actually…
trying to find a technicality to his death sentence so that if he got caught he would not be executed.
Scarlet: (DK) Aha! I’ll tell them I’m pregnant! No, wait…
Gidget: Well, it worked for those female pirates, Bloody Mary something and Anne something-or-other. "We plead our bellies!"
Scarlet: Anne Bonny and Mary Reed. One of them died in prison while pregnant and the other one escaped before anybody could tell if she was lying about her pregnancy or not. She was never heard from again. *bows* Just call me your Useless Pirate Trivia Expert. *G*
Kat: I could, but that’s kind of long to say, don’t you think? :-D
Scarlet: Well, I’d settle for "U.P.T.E…"
His disguise was working well, but the fake beard he was wearing along with the wig were itching and ruining his otherwise fabulous features
Scarlet: Well…YEAH!
and the suit he was wearing was cheap and tacky.
Joe: So it fit his personality.
Kat: *insert random "Kit’s girlfriend" joke here*
Scarlet: HOW did I miss that one? o_0
Definitely wasn’t him.
Joe: Whatever…
Scarlet: *laughs and points*
He was about to give up when he came across a footnote at the bottom of the Death Sentence Act. It read:-
Scarlet: You know, I always used to think that combination of punctuation looked like an unfinished smiley face, but just now I thought of a much dirtier explanation… 0_o
Gidget: LOL!!
Kat: Been looking at porn at the library again, sis? :-D
Scarlet: Not voluntarily, I assure you… :-p
"The defendant could be spared the death penalty if he/she is already dead"
Joe: Sounds legally binding. Redundant, but binding.
Scarlet: LOL! And are we referring to book binding, or…? *cracks whip*
Karnage did not like the sound of that so he read on:-
"Found not guilty of the crime before execution"
Gidget: If he can barely speak English without screwing it up, how can he read those big words?
Scarlet: Well, I did give him a Big Ass Dictionary tm for Christmas…
Kat: I thought it was a "Word-A-Day ™" calendar…
Scarlet: Juan got him that this year. ^_^
The chances of that happening was remote at best.
Scarlet: Well, he could just claim one of his other personalities did it. Which would lead us nicely into the next option…
"He/she is clinically insane or crazy"
Scarlet: AAAAH! NEVER SAY THAT WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He wasn’t crazy,
Scarlet: *well-timed coughing fit*
so he read the last one. His eyes widened with joy. He had found his way out.
Gidget:-- out of a paper bag.
Joe: LOL! You would have thought he’d go with the most believable defence. Welcome to Benland.
Scarlet: *puts on tour guide hat and grabs a clipboard* Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Benland! Please leave all tobacco products, firearms and logic at the door. Of course, your tobacco products and possibly firearms will be used by the MiSTers, but, um, *cough*… Anyway, keep that line moving. Those unfamiliar with British spelling and slang may wish to purchase a phrasebook from the giftshop. No flash photography, please; the author is distracted by shiny objects. Those with heart conditions, circulation problems and grammar skills are warned to proceed with caution. Impressionable children may be left in our Day Care Center, where they will subjected to bizarre and unethical genetic experiments that will turn them into Bigfoot-like monster cannibals. Please queue to the right in a single-file line. Those wishing to visit our concessions area should follow the stench of charred monkeys. In the event of bad weather, the fic will be too smeared to read and you’ll be issued a raincheck so that you may return to be horribly mentally scarred at a later date. Thank you. *bows*
Kat: LOL! *That* was inspired…
Picking up the book, he ran out of the library, ignoring the shouts of the security guard as
Joe: …he had forgotten to pull up his pants when he was in the periodicals section…
Kat: *mutters* Ungrateful bastards…
Scarlet: Well, since the Internet didn’t exist yet, I guess he couldn’t be looking at porn on the computers… *smacks pervs at work*
he had just stolen the book. He didn’t care, he was a thief after all.
Gidget: If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a thief who doesn’t care.
Scarlet: (tour guide) On your left, ladies and gentlemen, you’ll see blatant misuse of a comma instead of a semicolon. Move along, now. Please keep your hands and possessions inside the fanfic at all times…
All he had to do was to get her to agree.
Scarlet: Who? And whomever she is, why would she need convincing that he’s a thief?
That couldn’t be too much trouble could it? After all he had his "Karnage" charm. He grinned to himself as he ran
Scarlet: --over a squirrel
Gidget: --his tongue over it
Scarlet: o_0
Kat: That was…disturbing… Mental…picture… *pops pill*
Gidget: The tongue or the squirrel? :-D
off down the street.
Meanwhile at the other end of the city, Higher for Hire was a buzz of activity.
Scarlet: Heh heh…he said "buzz"…Wildcat must’ve gotten a new shipment in…
Baloo had finally asked the question to Becky and she had agreed.
Gidget: *squeals in happiness* (*siiiiigh*)
Joe: That question being "Can I spray for roaches?"
Scarlet: I thought it was "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Kat: Or "Would you like half of this sandwich that I found in the Sea Duck? I think it’s only a few months old!"
There was going to be a wedding. This called for a lot of planning.
Scarlet: Not if they elope to Vegas…
Joanna: Hey, Iron Paws --- why didn’t you invite me?
"Well I posted off all the invitations." Kit said, ticking off a
Joe: customer as he casually sat on the docks flipping people off…
point on his note book, as he walked back into the office from his run to the
Scarlet: --24-hour Porno-Mart…
post box "All we need now is to find a good (all-you-can-eat) catering company and your dress." He looked at Baloo, then quickly looked at Becky "Um, your dress."
Joe: Hey, making fun of Baloo is our job!
Scarlet: LOL!!!! Yeah!
"Why did you make Kit have the "To Do" list anyway?"
Scarlet: I thought the only item on Kit’s "To Do" list was his slutty girlfriend… *rimshot*
Baloo complained to his fiancée
"I’m good
Gidget (as Joanna – *preens*): When you’re right, you’re right.
Joe: Geez, brag about it, why don’t you?
Kat: I really don’t want to contemplate that, thank you :-X
and responsible as well" he continued.
Gidget (Becky, looking down at her pregnant belly): Yes, you certainly are!
Scarlet: *pins shiny "One Track Mind" button on Gidget* ;-D
Kat: *stares dazedly at the Shiny Object*
Scarlet: Um, sis, it might be time to cut back on the Goody Bag™…
"Sure you are Baloo, but I thought Kit may want to learn how to be as organised as you are as well." As she said that she got a vision of what her wedding would be like if Baloo had the "To Do" list. She saw the church burning down,
Scarlet: *checks "arson" off the list*
Gidget: LOL!!!
Kat: Well it *is* a Benfic™…
Baloo stuck in the door from a massive eating spree at a fast food joint, the guests all drowning in the harbour when the Sea Duck got horrible over loaded and sinking. She shuddered the thought away.
Joe: I’m laughing too hard at this to comment…
Gidget (as Rebecca): At least I won’t have to send any thank-you notes.
"Oh Kit, look what my mum
Scarlet: Mum’s NOT the word…
has sent for you to wear for the wedding." She held up a little sailor’s uniform. She had no intention of making Kit wear it but it was fun to see the expression on his face.
Scarlet: LOL!
*sound of Ted imploding*
Gidget: *nostalgic sigh*
"YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!!" Kit yelled, while backing away slowly from the offending uniform. "I mean…I’m not going to wear that." He said a bit more of a calm voice.
Scarlet: (tour guide) And if you just look to your right you should be able to see a missing word in that sentence. Just a reminder, folks, that donations will be collected at the end of the tour toward building a new insane asylum for the author…
Kat: One just for himself, where he can’t hurt others…
Becky just laughed "Don’t worry Kit, I already have a suit for you. We can’t have Baloo’s best man in a sailor outfit can you?" Becky looked at Baloo.
Scarlet: *pictures Kit in a Sailor Moon outfit and shudders*
Kat: *insert in-joke about Baloo marrying Sailor Moon here*
Scarlet: He was never going to actually *marry* her, silly. It was just a torrid affair.
"What?? I can choose whoever I want as my best man….what??? Oh yeah…can’t have the best man in a sailors costume can we?"
Scarlet: Well, he COULD have Louie as his best man, but then whomever Rebecca’s maid of honor is would have to kill herself or at least wear one of those germ-containment suits…
Gidget (as Joanna, holding a cyanide pill): Ready!
He stifled a
Scarlet: --fart
laugh. Kit just sulked for a while.
Scarlet: --and then went to smoke a joint
It was into this joyful room that Karnage suddenly made a dramatic appearance, by jumping through a window, but miscalculating the height he had to jump, tripped on the window ledge and fell flat on his face in the middle of the floor.
Joe: I just want to go on record as saying ROFL!!!
Scarlet: 0_o LOL
Kat: My, agile, isn’t he?
"Can I help you?"
Kat: *insert joke about Karnage being beyond help here*
Becky asked the stranger who was obviously very embarrassed about getting up off the floor.
Kat: "Very embarrassed about getting up off the floor"? What’s so embarrassing about getting off of the floor? ~~~drool~~~
Scarlet: Well, gee, while he’s already down there… *begins unbuttoning blouse*
Gidget: At least wait until you’re alone, ya naughty wench!
Scarlet: Oh. Oops. Sorry! *blush*
Everyone else was just staring at him and the fact that he made no attempt to save himself as he fall, keeping his arms straight against his sides made the staring even more intense.
Gidget: Then all the doors and windows of the gym slammed shut. (Carrie ref)
Karnage for his part, was in fact unconscious, the window being much stronger than it looked and he thought it would be.
Scarlet: (window) Yeah, well, I’ve been working out…
As soon as he hit it, his mind decided that the information it was getting from the rest of his body was too strong i.e. : - pain, that it decided to shut down for a while until something better happened or until it thought the pain had gone away and it would check to see if everything works. It decided that now was the time to see if anything still hurt. It did, unfortunately it also detected that someone was talking to it, and that it would be rude to ignore it, though that hadn’t stopped it before, it now decided that it had better say something back.
Scarlet: LOL! That is so…Douglas Adams-esque! J
Gidget (as Karnage): My personality has many faucets… but I am never rude!
"Ow!" That was one of the most pathetic one liner entrances ever.
"Are you alright?" Becky asked the strange and obviously insane person
Scarlet: Hey! Watch it!
now laying in the middle of the floor.
"Yes…I think so." He replied.
"Um…are you crazy?" Baloo asked quite innocently.
Scarlet: Uh oh… *dives in bomb shelter*
Gidget (as Karnage) Dive! Dive! (squid episode ref)
Crazy!!! Karnage’s brain hated that word.
Scarlet: And the rest of him wasn’t too fond of it, either…
"No!" Karnage jumped up and ripped off his beard "The great Don Karnage is not crazy. Never call me crazy." As soon he had stopped yelling,
Scarlet: Sure, Ben uses three exclamation points in exposition, but when Karnage is yelling he doesn’t use them for dialogue. :-p
he put his hands to his face and started silently to complain to himself about how much it had hurt ripping the fake beard off his face. Kit held up a conveniently located mirror so that Karnage could see all the fur that was pulled off his face.
Joe: (is laughing from the floor, wheezing)
Scarlet: WHAT the HELL? 0_o
"Karange….
Joe: He turned into citrus?
Scarlet: >_<
Gidget: Ditto (>_<)
Kat: Well, he’s already orange…
.what are you doing here?" Becky managed to say in a shocked voice.
"I have come from your hand in
Scarlet: --a jar with some formaldehyde
marriage my dear lady."
Scarlet: O_O Why, Karny, you polygamous little swine! *slaps DK and then throws wedding ring in his face*
He replied, grinning the grin which had many a girl under its trance.
Joe: from boredom, perhaps.
"Why would I want to marry you, when I am going to marry Baloo?" Becky replied, then thought about it. Baloo was fat, smelly, lazy and good for nothing. Karnage on the other hand was good looking, fit, had an accent to die for, was a rouge and had a death sentence over his head.
Kat: True…so true!
Joe: Wow, way to stick to your guns, Becky.
Scarlet: *high-fives Ben and ducks bricks from Gidget* And hey, Beth, Ben stole your idea! ;-D
Gidget: He is not smelly!
Kat: You obviously don’t remember the "burrito incident"…
"Yeah!!" Said Baloo, wondering why Becky was staring at Karnage with her mouth open and not saying much and drooling a bit.
Scarlet: LOL!
"Well it should be obvious" Karnage continued beginning to strain his grin muscles. "I am great and wonderful. That.." he pointed at Baloo "is a big fat pile of lard."
Scarlet: LOL!
Joe: He was pointing at a mirror, though. At his head.
Gidget: Thank you, Joe.
Kat: Dangerous things to say with Wenches around… *rummages in purse for armaments*
Becky just blinked at that statement.
"Don’t forget a you’re a huge egotistical bully" Baloo said back to him, feeling hurt.
Gidget: Um, Baloo… ever heard of the pot calling the kettle black? (except for the bully part)
Joe: Actually, I would think Baloo’s reaction would come more in the form of a punch in the face. Here he’s just Stuart Smalleying.
Scarlet: (tour guide) And now, ladies and gentlemen, we’re entering Out-of-Character Land! Watch for falling logic!
Kat: *offers free samples of Happy Pills to passing tourists*
"Yes that as well." continued Karnage "But to be truthful, it is to do with my death sentence. You see if I get married for one month my death sentence is commuted to twenty days. Good yes, no?
Joe: What the hell kind of law system is THAT?! You shag someone so they let you off?? Again, welcome to Benland. Where sexual escapades free one from the constraints of legal obligation and punishment. *blinks* Hey, can I get a passport to Benland?
Scarlet: LOL!!! What he said!!!
You get to spend a month with the greatest pirate that has ever lived and I get death down to twenty days."
Kat: You’re only dead for twenty days? Wha?
Gidget: Hope that refrigerator doesn’t break down…
"What?" Becky was stunned.
Scarlet: (Becky) That is the STUPIDEST law I’ve ever heard of!!!
"Here...look" Karnage showed her the book he had nicked
Scarlet: *flips through British-American dictionary*
from the library "It states that all I have to do is to get a girl to marry me for a month and serve my twenty days and I am free again, yes no?"
Joe: If you consider marrying Becky to be different than a death sentence, then yeah…
Scarlet: I was just thinking the EXACT same thing! LOL! *ducks more bricks and dead herring from Gidget*
Gidget: Oh no… for you, I’ll use live piranha.
Scarlet: I feel so honored.
"Yes I see…but why do you want to marry me?" Becky asked suddenly, but also feeling very honoured.
Scarlet: Oh, come on, Karnage isn’t exactly being picky OR romantic, here. :-p
Two blokes fighting over her,
Joe: How very proper. Blimey!
Gidget: Oy! Oy’ll say!
well there would be if Baloo could get the strength to get out of his easy chair.
Scarlet: That was a diss!
Kat: Although, his body odor had plenty of strength! *ducks from the Wrath of Gidget™*
Scarlet: So was that! J
Gidget: I’m trademarked! Kewl…
"Simple. I want to marry you to save my life, also so that I can boss the boy around again. I want him to call me Daddy for a bit.
Joe: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! (shoots fic with loaded rifle)
Scarlet: LOL!!! *sound of Ted un-imploding and cheering*
Gidget: Ahhh… memories.
Kat: *pops several pills at the thought of Karnage spanking Becky and asking "Who’s your daddy?"*
Scarlet: My turn to vomit!
To try it out as an experiment.
Joe: I recommend the Maui Wowie. Hint, hint.
If I like it, I may give up being a pirate and become some a lot more honest." He thought for a moment "Something like a bounty hunter."
Joe: Particularly Jengo Fett, who gets decapitated. (Now there’s an image I love. Karnage decapitated, not Jengo)
Kat: Er…It’s Jango, not Jengo… *pins on a shiny "Official Star Wars Geek" button*
Scarlet: Actually, they both had that cool Latin desperado bad-boy thing going on… *goofy smile*
*Gidget and Katarina get into a catfight over who gets Han Solo*
Gidget (as Joanna, sticking nose in the air): I don’t do catfights.
Kat: *ending fight* So you get Indy, I get Han, m’kay? J
Gidget: Okay.
He turned and grinned a Kit who just backed away, and ticked the point on his note book he had put there for a laugh. It read "Random nutter turns up and ruins everything."
Scarlet: o_0 LOL!
Kat: I don’t know what a "nutter" is, but me likee :-D
"What if I say no?" Becky asked, just to be clear on the point.
Scarlet: As opposed to being vague.
"I will do nasty things to you all with a bottle of vinegar, a carrot, two elastic bands, a cup of tea and a piece of fairy cake."
Joe: FAIRY cake??? Is that slang for a gay guy in any way? Cause, then, 0_o
Scarlet: Mmm, no, I’m quite sure it’s a legitimate pastry, but even so… 0_o !!
Kat: Hey, if they have Faerie Cakes on Neopets, they must be real, right? *halo*
Scarlet: That was the semblance of logic I was operating with, yes…
Karnage told her. Becky was now clear on that point. She decided to go along with Karnage, both to keep him from doing what he just suggested and for her own sanity.
Scarlet: Takes one to know one?
"Do you mind if I converse with Baloo about this?" Becky asked him.
Scarlet: So formal! *gasp*
"No, not at all, just as long as you agree, remember the fate that will occur to you all if you try and do anything funny."
"You mean become a clown?" Kit asked, as he hadn’t said anything for a while and wanted to.
Scarlet: LOL! OMG, that was so lame yet strangely amusing!
Gidget: Kit… leave the sarcasm to the professionals, hmmm?
Kat: Like me! :-D
"No you stupid boy, go outside and do something that you do. Okay?"
Kat: *insert Kit’s girlfriend joke here…again*
"No, I am going to stay here and watch what happens."
"Why you little….." Karnage suddenly saw Becky’s face. "Good boy." And patted Kit on the head.
Joe: And now Karnage is Foghorn Leghorn. I weep, I weep.
Scarlet: I say, I say, I say, that’s just WRONG, boy!
Becky meanwhile pushed Baloo into the back room.
Joe: (does eyebrow thing)
Scarlet: *covers ears as Gidget cheers*
Gidget (as Rebecca): sings ‘See What the Boys in the Back Room Will Have’* (old song)
"You don’t really want to marry that do ya?" Baloo asked in a hushed voice.
"No of course not, which is why I have a great idea."
Baloo groaned "It isn’t like your money making, get rich, greedy boss lady type plans is it? Because if it is…."
"No, its much better."
"Okay tell me then."
Scarlet: (Becky) Do that thing with the Post-It notes again, big boy. It makes me soooo hot…
Gidget: LOL! Wait’ll the 3M company hears how you’re treating their product.
"Well, remember you told me that Louie had taken that "How to conduct a wedding course" so that he could marry people and then hold the reception at his club?"
Scarlet: Now THERE is a scary thought. (Louie to bride) Hey, baby, doin’ anything later? Hows about you and old Louie get together for a little-- *sound of groom strangling Louie*
Kat: >_<
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, he never finished it did he?"
Scarlet: I think there’s medication for that now…
"Never took the exam….why….I think I know what you are saying, as he legally can’t marry, if he conducts the marriage, Karnage still has his death sentence, you aren’t married to him and still left to marry me."
Scarlet: How frikkin’ convenient! :-p
"Yes, that’s about it."
Joe: I like this plan…
Scarlet: You call that a plan?
"Becky" Becky frowned,
Joe: That’s not a very imaginative nickname.
Scarlet: LOL!
Baloo cleared his throat "Rebecca, by the laws of probability you have to
Gidget: Whoa, Baloo… don’t hurt yourself using those big words!
Scarlet: *sits back and pets a tribble and tries to forget about the fic*
have a good idea at some point, and I think you just had it." He beamed a smile at her. Becky elbowed him in the gut.
Scarlet: Eew.
"Yeah, well when was yours?"
"Dunno, I think I am still waiting for mine." He replied with a grin and they both returned to the office.
As the two adults entered the office they saw a strange sight. Karnage was curled up on the floor in
Scarlet: --Scarlet’s arms. J
tears at Kit’s feet.
Scarlet: No!!
"You have no idea how stupid my crew became after you left. Do you know what it was like having to live with them?" Karnage was rocking back and forward.
Joe: (does eyebrow thing again)
Gidget (as Karnage): Give me my cigarettes, Nurse Ratchett!
Kat: Be afraid. Be very afraid…
"Uh…yes" replied Kit "I do, that is why I left remember?"
Scarlet: Hell, nobody at Disney remembers P&L, why should Karnage?
Karnge wiped his nose with the sleeve of his shirt
Scarlet: Eew.
"Really?" He jumped to his feet and began to yell "ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID TOO?"
Joe: (Kit) If stupid means unbelievably loud, then yes.
Scarlet: As long as he doesn’t call him crazy…
"Uh no…..I’m calling you…" Kit thought for the correct word to use "unfortunately infected with moronisum"
Scarlet: I prefer "intellectually challenged…"
Gidget (as Joanna): I prefer "stupid".
Kat: I prefer "idiotic beyond belief"…
Scarlet: I thought you preferred those little pills with the green stripes… Or are we out of those again?
Kat: *shakes empty bottle* Damn!
"Ah…that’s okay, as long as it wasn’t stupid or crazy." Karnage suddenly got a strange look on his face "I hate that word. I am not crazy. See this lamp is crazy, listen you can hear it plotting against you."
Scarlet: O_O ROTFL!
Kat: *That’s* why my bottle is empty! Ooh, when I get my hands on him…
He put his ear up to the mentioned lamp. "Nothing this time, but you wait, turn your back and they will strike" He spun around, drew a sword and cut the lamp in half.
Joe: Um, wouldn’t a lamp like, shatter? Unless it’s made of marzipan or something.
Scarlet: Unless it’s made of, like, clay or something… Oh, hell, why are we applying logic to a Benfic? >_<
Kat: I think that abandoning logic was on the disclaimer. Somewhere near "abandon all hope ye who enter here". J
"Hey, do you mind?" Becky finally managed to get herself sane again.
Gidget: LOL!!
"That’s mine, and soon to be yours. We accept, on a few conditions."
"Yes I knew you would accept me….what conditions?"
Scarlet: *Becky hands Karnage a huge can of deodorant*
"The ceremony is carried out by Louie, in Louie’s, Baloo is the best man, I invite the guests and I have the final say in every aspect of the planning process."
Scarlet: (Becky) Oh, and you have to wear a fuzzy pink bunny suit.
Kat: (Becky) Oh, and I want a pony.
"My lady you have it." And Karnage bowed, but due to a miscalculation, he bowed too low, hit his head on the floor and knocked himself out.
Scarlet: 0_o Methinks Karny needs to see a neurologist…
Kat: Or a psychiatrist…
"Well there’s something you don’t see everyday." Becky remarked as she picked up the phone to speak to Louie about the wedding, but before she did so he looked around quickly "Hey has anyone seen Molly?"
Scarlet: No, thank God.
"No, do you think it would be a good idea to go look for her?" Kit asked.
"Oh do we have to? I don’t even like her!" Baloo stated.
Gidget (as Rebecca): Me neither, but someone has to pick up all those little pieces of rice afterward…
Joe: Yup, I’m definitely getting a passport to Benland.
Scarlet: LOL!!!
"Nope, I just thought how pleasantly quiet it was in here without her, I am sure she is fine and will be back when she is ready."
Molly was in fact far from ok, she was running for her life from a pride of angry lions that had just escaped from Cape Suzette zoo. If only she could make it to the tree house, she would be safe. She could see Ernie and Oscar up there yelling at her to run faster. Oh dear, she didn’t quite make it.
Joe: It sounds like a Winnie the Pooh line, doesn’t it? Only with more innuendo about a bloody death.
Scarlet: ROTFLMAO!!!!! *high-fives Ben*
Gidget (as Winnie): Oh, bother.Ernie and Oscar turned away from the sight at the base of the tree. Oscar started to cry.
Scarlet: Wussy.
This really annoyed Ernie so he pushed Oscar out of the tree house.
Scarlet: *applauds wildly*
The lions eventually got bored with the tree house and left so Ernie could go home in safety.
Kat: Until I picked Ernie off with my sniper rifle…
Scarlet: And here I thought you didn’t pay any attention to current events, sis…
Kat: Bite me. Of course, you realize that if you do that literally, there will be no more Magical Happy Pills™ for you.
Scarlet: Whatever ™.
(*insert random bitchslapping here*)
The lions roamed around Cape Suzette for a bit before they returned to the zoo. Their keepers could not work out why none of them wanted their dinner that night.
Joe: Morbid, yet comical. I like it.
Scarlet: Ditto!
To be continued when I get round to it…..
Scarlet: Do! Do! *laughing hysterically*
Gidget: I love Benland. J
Scarlet: I have a season pass. J
Kat: I really hope he doesn’t get around to it, for the sake of whatever shred of my sanity is left…
Scarlet: Aw, you’re no fun…
Kat: *blows the traditional kiss to the audience* Goodnight, everybody!