YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH DON KARNAGE WHEN....


Nearly every fandom has a list like this.  Here's ours.  Rated PG.  Enjoy!


Reasons by Persian Phoenix:


1. You pick up Don Karnage's accent

2. You adopted his philosophy that bad is good.

3. You start referring to yourself in third-person.

4. The word "crazy" irks you.

5. You b!tch slap your friends when say/do something stupid.

6. You become very interested in pirates.

7. You start looking for the source of Karnage's accent.

8. You only record the TaleSpin episodes starring Don Karnage.

9. You write fanfictions about Karnage and your altered ego getting together.

10.You get jealous when you see a fanfictions or lemons starring Karnage with another female interest.

11. You go the Disney Store demanding Don Karnage merchandise and razz the place when you can't find it.

12. You start checking your zodiac to see if you and DK are compatible.

13. You keep your Don Karnage Pirate Island Official Passport (from the action figure) and vow to use it at Disney World.

14. You make a shrine in your basement complete with candles, incense, and, all your DK stuff such as posters, drawings, dolls and VCR tapes.

15. You "boo" at the Cape Suzette Coast Guard.

16. You know the Sky Pirate song by heart.

17. You say your prayers and ask God to bless Don Karnage.

18. Hearing Don Karnage voice sends naughty shivers down your spine.

19. You dream about Don Karnage.

20. You would join the Air Pirates so that you can be close to him.

21. Your ego becomes the size of Africa.

22. Everyone seems stupid and beneath you.

23. You replace the word "people" with "type-persons".

24. You replace swear words with "tailsection" and "sons of hamsters".

25. You talk on the phone with your girlfriends that Don Karnage has a nice @$$.

26. You know over one hundred Karnage quotes and the episodes they were said in.

27. "Ransom of the Red Chimp" becomes your favorite episode because you get to see Don Karnage in a bathing suit.

28. You surf the net for Karnage shrines and grab as many images you can.

29. You stop calling him "Karnie" because you know he hates it.

30. You take his word that he's only 29 years old.

31. You want to fly a CT-37.


Reasons by Scarlet:


32. You look through books on animals trying to figure out what species he is.

33. You make thousands of Karnage screen grabs.

34. You have Don Karnage wallpaper on your computer desktop.

35. You have Don Karnage wallpaper in your bedroom.

36. You give up plucking your eyebrows.

37. You wear out multiple copies of "F'reeze a Jolly Good Fellow" or similar Karnage-centric comics.

38. You not only know all his dialogue, but you can recite it with the correct inflection.

39. You practice rolling your R's.

40. You enroll in a Spanish course. For seven years.

41. You wear boots even when it's not snowing.

42. You threaten to hang someone by their pinkies.

43. You renovate your house because that is a "lousy place for a wall."

44. When someone mentions vultures, your first thought is of the airship, not the bird.

45. You get all defensive when someone gripes about Karnage throwing Kit off the Iron Vulture.
 


Reasons by Katarina:

46. You refer to yourself in such terms as "my wonderful self" or some such.

47.   Every time you hear the phrase "Fire at Will!" you automatically finish the line with, "He is my second mate. Fire at the Sea Duck!"

48.  You begin to ask people, "So, what is your tiny, insignificant little point?"


More Reasons by Scarlet:


49. You try to cut your ear apart just like his.

50. You lose sleep wondering how his sword doesn't cut through his coat, being ripped out of that blue loop of fabric all the time.

51. You even think he's cute when he's covered in mango slices.

52. Wherever you go, you hear cocky-sounding Spanish music in the background.

53. You stop buttoning your coat up all the way.

54. You legally change your last name to Karnage.

56. You look in books of historical costume, trying to identify when and where his uniform is from.

57. You hit the "find" function in your browser when you encounter a new fanfic, and only read it if "Karnage" is included in the document."

58. You take a file and sharpen all your teeth.

59. You always put your feet up on the furniture.

60. Your favorite snack is donuts and cappuccino.

61. When you sunbathe, you make others turn you over.

62. You overuse alliteration.

63. You love stealing candy from babies.

64. You remodel your room to look just like his: purple curtains, huge "K" and all.

65. You practice fencing in front of the mirror.

66. You refer to yourself as "one scary guy" (or gal)

67. You insult everyone in sight.

68. You're excessively picky about how your last name is pronounced.

69. You paint a skull and crossbones on every vehicle you own...even the riding lawnmower.

70. Glue makes you nervous.

71. You never, ever, ever call some C-R-A-Z-Y!

72. You subscribe to "Do-it-yourself Electronics"

73. You insist on being the only one who gets to say "One more time" at the end of a song.

74. You use a spyglass to watch for the mailman.

75. You just ADORE men with accents!

76. You snicker whenever someone mentions windsocks.

77. You mold your mashed potatoes into little Don Karnage shapes.

78. You get mad whenever none of the books on pirates in the library mention Karnage.

79. You know that because you've actually read every book on pirates in the library.

80. You frantically try to invent a time machine so you can go back in time to get Tale Spin merchandise when
it was still new.

81. You yell, cry, or both, when you see parts that were edited out of P&L, especially if they include DK.

82. You truly do believe that Don Karnage knows all a feared pirate needs to know.

83. Whenever you see the word "carnage" you get a small, sly smile on your face.

84. You own both the Tri-Wing Terror airplane and the Karnage action figure.

85. You have ever uttered the words, "Hello, I'm [your name here] and I'm a Karnageaholic."

86. You end every sentence with "yes-no?"

87. You play the Sky Pirates song and try to do the dance moves.

88. You succeed.

89. You replay Karnage "swearing" at the seagulls in "Ransom of Red Chimp" until you can pick up what he's
saying... "Sacramento California, [something] del Mar..." :-)

90. You keep some turnips and sandpaper on hands...just in case!

91. All your friends are Swedish, whiny or always whisper.

92. You've ever chopped an iceberg looking for diamonds.

93. You've actually told someone to "go soak your elbows!"

94. You hate the Shore Patrol and the cliff guns always make you soooo angry!

95. Your door is always open sometimes.

96. You get irritated when they use Karnage's theme music for other villains, especially those %&#$@ from
Panda-La!

97. You find yourself humming that music.

98. More than 1000 KB of your hard drive is being used to store that music in .wav format.

99. You've ever watched a Karnage scene in slow motion.

100. Whenever someone accuses you of wrongdoing, you merely shrug and say, "It's my job."

101. You speak aloud while writing in your diary.

102. You booby-trap your hallways.

103. You don't need no stinking sink!

104. You're anal retentive about people rolling their R's.

105. If you're in the U.S.A., on the 4th of July you spell out D-O-N K-A-R-N-A-G-E with your sparkler.

106. You just don't understand why Kit Cloudkicker would want to leave the pirates.

107. A skull-and-crossbones symbol just doesn't look right to you without a snout and ears!


Reasons by Cherokee

108. You are afraid, although you never admit it, of female orangutans

109.  You think Don Karnage should be leader of the Disney Afternoon Villians Union, (on the DAFT fanfic archive,) instead of that fashion-senseless Negaduck.  He is not even comparing to the wonderfully handsome prince of pirates!

110.  You hate the sight of a Conwing L-16 painted yellow and red.

111.  When you lose your temper, you are trying to be sounding like Don Karnage.


Reasons By John-David Wesley Philip MacColl Vickers Dornebal Kraaikamp:

112.  You're jealous of his name, so you double the length of yours! :-)

113.  You go to Don Karnage fanfic sites

114.  You start watching TaleSpin just to see him

115.  You start going through your old Spanish textbooks


More Reasons byScarlet:

116.  You lock a wolf and a fox in a room and resolve not to let them out until they mate, just to see if their offspring looks like Don Karnage.

117.  You go to an airplane dealer and ask to buy a CT-37.

118.  You also ask the dealer if it would cost extra to have a skull and crossbones painted on it.

119.  You threaten to break the dealer's kneecaps when he tells you there's no such thing as a CT-37.

120.  You go to the zoo and show the keepers a picture of Karnage, saying, "I want to see this kind of animal," and then giggle as they try to figure out just what kind of animal that would be.

121.  Michael Eisner has a restaining order against you because you send him letters every single day begging him to make more TaleSpin episodes.

122.  You get a job at Disney World so you can poke around behind the scenes for the Don Karnage costume.

123.  You incessantly call Jim Cummings, hoping one of these times he'll answer the phone as Don Karnage.

124.  Your bumper sticker says "Have you Hugged Your Pirate Today?"

125.  You call directory assistance and try to find out if anyone with the last name "Karnage" really exists.

126.  You find yourself trying to interpret Becky's reaction (in "A Baloo Switcheroo") when Baloo asks her, "Do you wanna wear boxer shorts the rest of your life?" to see if Karnage wears boxers or briefs.

127.  You honestly don't think there's anything strange about that line of thought.

128.  You go on to wonder if, assuming he does wear boxers, they're black with little skulls and crossbones, like Negaduck's.

129.  You want a pair of those for yourself.

130.  You wrote in "Don Karnage" on your presidential ballot.

 


Reasons by Roaming Tigress:

131.  You have three disks just full of Don Karnage images, and another three or so just of Don Karnage sounds

132.  If you meet up with someone who HATES Don Karnage, you make every attempt to convert them, absolutely not understanding how someone can hate him.

133.  You tell everyone that you're a "panic-provoking pirate"

134.  You bring your Don Karnage action figure when you do your exams and explain to everyone that it's a good luck symbol.

135.  You make yourself a Don Karnage outfit.

136.  When you come upon a webpage for Disney villains you get miffed that Don Karnage isn't listed.


More Reasons By John-David Wesley Philip MacColl Vickers Dornebal Kraaikamp:

137.  You check the list every 5 minutes for 2 straight weeks to see if your reasons have been added yet!

138.  You model a RP character on him.

139.  You notice the similarity between your last name and his, and you think "K&K."

140.  You go for your pilot's license!

141.  You get a triplane because it's the closest thing to his.


Reasons By lloyd.russell@gte.net:

142.  You train your dog to backpaw his friends .

143.  You have made sure your dog looks Don Karnage.

144.  You batter and assualt anyone who calls him "Don Garbage" and/or attack the TV when Baloo or Kit calls him that. 

145.  You do everything the Humane Society will permit to make your dog look like him.

146.  You have taught the aforementioned dog to bark with his accent.

147.  Your dog that was mentioned before is not actually a dog; it's a brown wolf.

148.  Your wolf's name is Don Karnage (even if it's female).

149.  YOU want to slap Mad Dog and Dumptruck.

150.  You practice his grin in the mirror.

151.  You call everyone you talk to "estupid."

152.  You file your nails until they look like claws and dye them black.

153.  You have actually considered becoming an air pirate.

154.  No one can make the fruit salad out of you!

155.  You play the Sky Pirate song so much, your parents kick you and your TV/VCR out the house.

156.  You practice not using contractions.

157.  You start carrying around a sword.

158.  You hardly ever wear a different style of clothes.

159.  You intentionally use his malapropisms.

160.  You spend time every night to print out DK screengrabs to add to a notebook.

161.  You try to imitate the wolf growl from "Captain's Outrageous" when you get mad.

162.  You start hitting your friends' heads with the flat of your previously mentioned sword.

163.  You finally understand your dog's instinct for pack behavior.

164.  You've made enemies of those with Baloo obssessors.

165.  Your secret fear is of being glued to a fat bear.

166.  You ask WW2 veterans if there was such a fighter as a CT-37.

167.  You freak out to the point of hysterics if someone steals money or jewelry from you.

168.  When something's easy, you say "this is as easy as pie on a log!"

169.  You don't even blink when watching P&L (you're gonna get it from your eye doctor-type person!)

170.  You spend all your free time thinking up ways to capture Cape Suzette.

171.  You have a 6 foot tall cardboard cutout of Don Karnage in your room and lift weights until your muscles fit his perfectly.

172.  You snarl at the tigers and bears at the zoo unmercifully. Scare 'em too!

173.  You go all over Amazon.com looking for DK merchadise, then go sulk for a year if you can't find any.

174.  You nickname the wolf you think is the alpha male at the zoo Don Karnage.

175.  You lose all sense of reality wondering how he got that ear nick.

176.  If you have an R in your last name, you insist that people roll it

177.  When you say something that offends someone else, you say, "Did I hurt your feelings? Good."

178.  You're as good at being bad as bad can get.

179.  When someone says "Don Karnage" you go up to them, even if you don't know them and say "No, no, no, no, no, my friends. It is the feared pirate Don Karnage!"

180.  You sit around and pout for half the day because the TS episode on that day had some two-bit one-shot hack like Owl Capone instead of your Plundering Wonder!

181.  You cannot take your history test because the Sky Pirate song is stuck in your head. As a result, you write down words like "pirate", "keeling", "thunder", "plunder", and phrases like "bodies crashing", "and the keeling, what a feeling!" And you get all the questions right!!! [Scarlet:  Actually, I think that last part would be a sign that your teacher is obsessed with Don Karnage! LOL!]

182.  You finish all your letters and notes with your name and beside it you write, "The Prince(ss) of Pirates."

183.  You write a fanfic where Don Karnage blows Baloo's big bulbous butt out the sky.

184.  You draw pictures of him shooting down Baloo from all angles.

185.  You try to draw your own TS episode so he can win for once.

186.  You leave your lists stuck in the door with a dagger.

187.  You are purposely redundant.


More Reasons by Scarlet:

188.  You are purposely redundant.   ;-D

189.  When you're introduced to someone named Louise, you run screaming in the other direction.

190.  You install a Muzak system in your house so you can listen to "Sky Pirates" and/or the Iron Vulture theme music 24/7.

191.  You get a divorce when your spouse objects to #190.

192.  The neighbors call the police to complain about #190.

193.  You take tango lessons, just in case you ever run into Karnage in person.

194.  You take fencing lessons, just in case you ever run into Karnage in person.

195.  You pin a fox tail onto your jeans.

196.  You spend so much money on Don Karnage merchandise on eBay that you have to take out a loan.

197.  You hire a professional linguist to pin down his accent once and for all.

198.  You send mail addressed to "The feared pirate Don Karnage, c/o Jim Cummings"

199.  You realize how much time you've spent compiling a list of signs of DK obsession.

200.  You don't think it's been a waste of time!  ;)


Reasons by Don Keeney:

201. You call a company and ask if he can be the spokesperson for their ads.

202. You try to find clothes like his, and if you can't find 'em, you make 'em.

203. Get a tattoo of him

204. Write a song about him.

205. Write an article of him in the school paper.

 


More Reasons By John-David Wesley Philip MacColl Vickers Dornebal Kraaikamp:

206.  You think "A tattoo that looks like Don Karnage?   Screw it!  I'm gonna tattoo myself until I look like Don Karnage!"

207.  You make a list entitled "You Know You're Obsessed With Don Karnage When..."   (You saw this one coming, didn't you?) [Scarlet:  Yup. ;)  ]



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